I have just read through your blog and I must say that I am very impressed with what you are saying. I do see your point of being very angry at your wife and this man who has commited adultry with her. I agree with the other women that at know point should you tell his wife. But, I feel that you are trying to get the sympathy card so that one of these ladies could contact the wife. I might be off on that and if I am I deeply apologize. The thing that I don't understand or that I'm trying to understand is this, you married this woman and you had found out some red flags before the marriage and you didn't put this on hold? You knew this woman didn't alot of the things that a wife should do before you married her but again, you married her. Please don't misunderstand, I don't mean to lecture you or put you down. I feel that because you knew all this stuff about her before hand that you probaly saw this coming at some point and time. Now that it has come, you are wondering what you need to do. Well you have options. One would be you remain in this marriage and put up with what your wife is doing and continue to find forums such as this one to vent or you could divorce her and get joint custody of your daughter and move on. There are other options but, I'm not going through all that. The point is this you need to make a decision and stand firm by it. If your going to divorce her, quit thinking about what its going to look like with her, just do it and get it over with. Quit thinking about what could have beens, if only I would have done or the other verses we think about. After or before get some therapy. This will help you sort out your feelings of being hurt, angry and confused. You need to put your daughter as your first priority, so your sanity is most important here. Whatever you do, don't down your wife infront of your daughter, she is a child and she needs to stay a child. As it was said before your daughters needs come first and she will see how her mother is, just be there for her when it comes crashing down. Most people say that you shouldn't date anyone after you get divorced for about a year. Take that year to heal and get to know you and what your needs and wants are. Again I am very sorry for the pain that you are incountering now, only you can change the out come of the whole situation. I hope that this helps.