I haven't been in here for a few days. I guess I am breathing a little easier. I am still very concerned for my husband. But have realized through and through that there is nothing that I can do. I just have to wait it out and hope and pray that he doesn't harm himself in any permanent way. Me on the other hand: I am trying to still distant myself. I have good and bad moments but the goal is still the same. Every now and then I may wonder what it would be like if he would be ok and come home. But then I talk to him and see that the person he is now isn't all that great. He has even admitted that he is selfish and an . He says he can cut off his emotions and just use logic. His logic is pretty screwed up now though. But I listened to him because I want to know where his head is at.
My emotions and my head are getting closer to being on the same path. Which is nice. Everthing still hurts and stings but at least I am not stunned.