i want to say thanks for the responses i have had. it not going to be an easy on at all. i can cope with the problem but i cannot cope with seeing him panic and worry and knowing what to say to him is realy the issue, i found my self saying the imortal words it does not matter ( because i love him i want him to see that it is not bothering me ) but it does matter i know how i would feel if the problem was on my side... i will not leave him because of it but sometimes i think he gonna just leave me to find someone who can do it for me. i do not want that. i tried to say come what may we in this together and we try to combat it together, but the failure he feels is unbelievable. and it again its the words that let me down, i am hopless at explaining or helping.. i try to say leave the sex let just play and enjoy each other, but to him it pointless cos if i do just play with him he likes it for a while but because he cannot come either he starts to get embarrassed like it going now where what is the point... i do think it all related to the fact he been sick the last 18 months he been at deaths door emphassemia is quiet and illness, he wants a normal sex life and yes so do i. but i knowing how to help him what to say or what to try and do is the problem i feel. the answeres may not bet there but to all that have tried to help thank you


love L