Well one thing that jumped out at me is not being able to find her clitoris. The clitoris is (secretly!) wishbone-shaped, but only the end of it is outside of the skin. The rest of it runs underneath the labia. Check out a diagram that shows it; it's interesting and makes oral a lot more fun
And don't worry. If she's not worried about never having orgasmed, don't make her worry about it. That'll just make it worse. Let her enjoy sex and try out the vibrator. Let it happen when it's going to happen, though truthfully there's a small chance it might never happen. She's not dysfunctional and neither are you less of a man or anything like that. Go with the flow.