You know there are many times when one can't keep it up or get it up. Being considerate of the situation is key because as the owner of what isn't getting up, it can be frustrating. There are many toys one can research and use that will maintain an erection. In fact, I sometimes incorporate that into my fun times if you will. Look under the Adam and Eve website for a ring. They have all shapes and sizes and with all sorts of materials too. I've used a blue pill when not in the mood and it worked wonders as well. If it's emotional, then maybe there's nothing one can do but see someone professionally. Have fun though. Get the oil out and play away. Trust me. When something happens it will assist in ones head that all is ok!!