I know you were specific with regards to female feedback and hope you do not mind my comment.

My situation is very much the same as you describe and our window of opportunity (intimate encounters) seem to always vaporize before our eyes. Having a 16 month old and a 4 year old make for a busy day and night and my wife is understandably drained both emotionally and physically by days end.

We have started to be more proactive in scheduling sitters and dropping kids off at grandmas. This has been wonderful as it is something we both eagerly look forward to. The excitement building up to the encounter also makes it sooo good. Although the spontanous encounters are not as frequent, the idea that both of us are eager and commited to make the other person a priority has many bennefits to a healthier and fun relationship.

And I feel your pain with regards to going to sleep horney and wanting. It is tough, but remember Kids get older and our couple time will slowly come back. Best of luck.

Tim4family