"I am free of all prejudice, I hate everyone equally" - WC Fields"

"When a man steals your wife there's no better revenge than to let him keep her" - Sacha Guitry

"Make crime pay, become a lawyer" - Will Rogers

"Knowledge speaks but wisdom listens" - Jimmy Hendrix

"A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on" - Samuel Goldwyn

"Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage" - Ambrose Bierce

"You're about as useful as a one legged man at an arse-kicking contest" - Rowan Atkinson