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Some marriages become battlegrounds.
Everything is 'charged' everything has
a 'point' value.
Sometimes the wife, having pandered
to the husband for a time, developes
this resentment which is unspoken.
If it was spoken, if it was fully aired,
then perhaps the situation would be
different, but in most cases, the anger
and resentment grows like a cancer.
It might have been a 'little' thing, but
untreated, that is, never addressed in
an honest and direct way, it becomes
a major boulder in the marriage path.
For example;
Howie had the habit of inviting people
for dinner with no more than a last
minute phone call.
Wanda hated this, but of course, had
to be cordial in front of the guests.
Usually, after the guests had left
she was in a fairly good mood, so
didn't say more than; "Please don't
bring people home at the last minute."
And Howie interpreted this as a 'fishing
for compliments,' and would tell her
how well she did.
Wanda would complain to all her
friends about it, but never took
the opportunity to say;
"Howie, don't do it."
or to threaten;
"The next time you do it,
I won't be here."
The situation went on for about
two years, until one day, Howie
came home with his friends, and
there was no dinner, and no Wanda.
Wanda had, as she received the
call, taken the house money, and
gone out to a restaurant.
She ran into an old Flame, and
because she had so much unexpressed
anger and resentment for Howie,
winds up in bed with him.
Yes, blame the wine, the music,
the fact Flame looked good.
But if she had not been so angry
at Howie...
an anger not born from this dinner
party, but from all the past dinner
parties...
all that resentment which she had
never adequately expressed...
even if she had gone to dinner,
she'd not have ended up in
Flame's bed.
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