01-26-2007, 01:04 PM
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Guest
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notes from off stage 1
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I underlined certain key words to give you a
peep into one of the basic tactics of an abuser.
Firstly, the suddeness.
This is not a relationship that built up over
time; this is unexpected. Either 'Mac' is
a stranger, or a friend of a friend, someone
who was never considered as possible 'mate'
material.
The sheer intensity of Mac's courtship confuses
the mind. As Mammals we have the recognition
factor. We recognise our family, our friends,
people we see every day, and know how much
our how little of ourselves we share.
We are disconcerted by the stranger on the train
who opens a lively discussion with us, who smiles
and includes us into their contemplation. We don't
know how to respond.
This confusion...(do I know this person? is he
mistaking me with someone else? Who is he?
How should I respond?)...leaves one vulnerable.
The autonomic...fight/flight --- friend/foe ---
system is put out of whack.
One really doesn't know how to respond, and
Mac is given the initiative.
Usually there is a basic discordance between
Mac and Dee.
It could be colour, class, religion, politics,
something that is there before they met,
there during their relationship, so that
breaking up with Dee because of that
basic discordance makes no sense.
Nothing has changed, nothing has happened.
There is no logic in starting the relationship
and ending it.
The confusion is what is desired.
Dee is not permitted time to think.
To analyse, things happen so quickly
she is rushed along, her will is overborne.
Her emotions are tortured.
She doesn't know how she feels
Why she feels...
even what she feels...
Mac is in charge.
Mac has created the relationship.
Mac has ended the relationship.
Mac has restarted the relationship.
Mac holds the ascendent.
Mac is in charge.
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