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  #16  
Old 01-27-2007, 01:57 PM
kaylar
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IN THE BEGINNING


1. Intensity of Pursuit


Is there something strange about his seduction?
Is it overwhelming, smothering, too much too soon?


2. Toying with Emotions


Does the relationship have incredible ups and downs
where there are illogical breakups, reunions, arguments
about nothing which are followed by intense make ups?
So that you have no idea where the relationship is from
day to day?


3. Overwhelming Confusion/Disruption of Life


Has your life 'gone crazy' since you met him?
Things that were important no longer matter?
Places you were supposed/things you were to
do are delegated to conform to his wishes?



If any of these points seems to apply to you
you may very well be entering an abusive
relationship.

One of the main precursors to establishing
an abusive relationship is to disrupt the victim's
life to the extent that the life he creates
obliterates the past.

Like clearing a field, your life needs to be
cleared for him to do all planting.

Time for reflection can not be allowed, there
must be a constant pressure in which the
choice is immediate; him or.....?

To keep a victim off balance the proto-abuser
deliberately and continually changes the relationship.
He may say, 'let's just be friends', and after the
woman cries, embrace and commence sex.

He may say he wants to marry her, and then
take another woman on a date.

Everything must be done to distort the victim's
perceptions so that she literally doesn't know
if she is coming or going.

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