Hey, I can relate! J Sisters Salon in NYC is THE BEST for waxing! They totally make you feel at ease. Having said that, a full Brazilian bikini wax (butt, vulva, bikini area) hurts!! But they do a good job compared to other places I've heard.
But you can just have your butt waxed, which in my opinion does not hurt as much compared to having the front waxed (in other words, a bikini wax that doesn't leave a landing strip - OUCH!).