04-09-2007, 01:12 PM
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Guest
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You Can't
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Tink, you've walked into one of those wierd situations
where you will always be the 'outsider.'
There is no sense in you staying home alone.
It is time for you to find engrossing outside interests.
Whether you double up on your job, whether you
become involved in politics, environoment, you need
something very important in your life.
Something that you have to go to every day or
every other day.
The situation will never change, in fact,when his
father dies you will be blamed.
"You never liked him!"
"You begrudged me every minutes I spent with him!"
"You're happy he's dead."
And then he'll find reasons to go to the cemetary
every other minute, or whatever it is.
It seems clear that Dad can't bear being around
his wife, hence his way of dealing with it is to be
away.
Your husband prefers being with his father to you.
Don't make it an either or.
If his Dad met a gal and started an affair, he wouldn't
know he had a son; but you can't wait for that to
happen.
I can think of an analygous situation in which the
husband was very much involved with a team, and
had to spend a great deal of time on it.
His wife spent a great deal of time with her boyfriend.
Eventually she decided there was no sense in bothering
with the husband, filed a divorce and left.
The interesting part of the situation, is that the wife
as a parting shot, told the husband that the affair
had been going on for ten years.
He had never even been suspicious...
he was so busy with the team he didn't realise
his wife was having an affair.
Another woman, in a similar situation, was accused
by her husband of having an affair..."Catch me."
she said quietly.
He didn't have the time to catch her, his interests
were so important to him.
Now I am not saying that you go to a bar and pick
up men, or hang a shingle, I'm saying get yourself
some engrossing interest so that you don't even know
if he's with his father or home, because you are so
busy doing something else.
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