Why wold you leave a man that you love? Marriage is a peice of paper. If you are happy in the relationship, what does it matter? I have been with my boyfreind for three years. We have a daughter and are planning for a boy. We live as husband and wife. I think that men just see marriage as a death sentence. If you are happy with the relationship, besides the marriage part, don't push him. I have heard of people having the best relationship for years, as soon as they get married, its over?? Why is that? It has to be the feeling of HAVING to be with someone. Not wanting to be with them. I never want my husband to feel like he has to be with me. Would you? If your relationship stands the test of time, you will get married someday. If it doesn't you will be better off not getting married. Just don't push him too much. Obviously he loves you. 9 years is a long time. I would just say appreciate what you do have and stop focusing on what isn't going to happen right now. You wouldn't want him to marry you without wanting it whole heartedly?? Its a scary thing to promise someone the rest of your life.