I agree with CW that you seem to want love than to actually be in it. Why not back off both these guys and spend some time on you? It sounds like you are an attractive and good woman so they want to flatter themselves that you would like to be with them but aren't so into you that they are willing to do what is really needed to make it happen. Put your energy into your life, your career and getting to where you want to be, then you can find a man who fits Your life instead of you fitting theirs.
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