I have no idea how to deal with this. It is litterally killing me. I know you said to take it one moment at a time because crying doesn't clean the bathroom, but have you ever personally gone through this? I can hardly deal with then next five minutes because thoughts about him keep flooding my brain! I am so angry and upset that he can just seem to go on without us as if we never really existed! I am here dying inside and he is at work or with his "real" family doing whatever he is doing. If he really loves us it must be killing him inside too, but just thinking that isn't good enough. I need to know he cares, at least a little. I feel like the biggest piece of because I feel like my life is so unimportant. (How could you do this to someone you claim to be in love with??? I know the thought of leaving his wife of 30 years is horrifying, especailly financially, he said it himself, but why on earth would you be so heartless and not even talk to me after the fact? Are you that scared to see me cry?? Does that hurt you to see that I am real and have feelings too?? Is is just easier to run and pretend that it never happened? I wish I could do the same, but I can't! I am a woman with deep emotions and a little girl who looks just like you everyday! I can't pretend my relationship with you never happened, frankly I don't want to. I don't regret it, and I'm sure part of you doesn't either, but you are a coward and I am so mad about it! You need to wake up and realize what you have done to us! I either need you or real closure! This isn't fair and it isn't okay in any way! You get to go on with your life just fine and I sit and stew in the misery I call my life now! Everything I see and do reminds me of you! You have more clean shirts at my house than I do! All the things you gave me, the things you said to me, the things we did together, and your beautiful daughters face! I can't escape that!!) Sorry I went on a rant to him just now, but I am so emotional I can't function! Any other suggestions? I need help and can't seem to find it! I am trying so hard to keep it moment to moment, but that isn't even cutting it. I dreamt about him last night and it was so real that it woke me up because I heard his beautiful southern accent in his voice. Then I just realized it was all a dream and cried. I just want answers, from him. I can't do this......