ohh my life is'nt all that bad.i'm aware of some of my blessings like having a place to live,having an income,and freedom to pursue my interests...i relate to alot what you say tho. Wow sounds like me now...i hardly go out,i sleep irregular hours,yes i feel like a mess.i just never had anyone dying in front of me before and i'm sure not alot of people experience that. i used to be really naive and think people were really nice....i'm still hurting from the abuse.
I have this heavy yearning to get out of the state I'm in.I'd like to be outgoing,have a nice boyfriend who would take me out..friends to come over and hangout...after my last date it just really left me jaded. For awhile I've been totally hating guys,not trusting people much....with i had a female friend i can hangout with.After my last friend passed away,it left a void because she was supposed to hangout with me. I have a friend who moved to New York also and we had an argument last time she came over to visit. She made me very upset by commenting I need to work out cos she thinks I'm getting fat but the next day she wanted to go to the beach. I felt soo hurt by what she said, I felt so self conscious about my body I could'nt hangout with her after that.Especially not at a beach after the comment she made. I feel like people want to criticize more than actually help and they get a kick out of it which is really mean.
I feel a little better tonite tho....still really depressed but physically feeling a little better.
I have a tendency to share too much about myself on a board of strangers and I guess some people reading this think what I'm saying is too much and avoid the thread all together. I feel a little embarrassed but at the same time okay that I've vented what I've been going though.Oh well.... Yeah one main reason i don't look at alot of message boards is because of how they interact like CW said.It's so lame....thank gawd there is'nt a thread here talking about football lol or posting gross pics.
None of my family is living close to me now. My mom lives in Las Vegas now and last time i saw her she came by for my birthday...i called her up yesterday. My sister lives in Orlando with my grandparents and they raised me.
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