Perhaps I need to expand this a bit. I'm not "looking" for this. I've just been doing a lot of thinking about many things. I got to wondering about people who get heavily into porn or fringe type sexual activity, people who engange in extreme sports, or just people who engage in intense physical experiences (or seek to). We might extend this to people who cut themselves also.
Are trying to fill an emotional void? Is it the lack of a deep emotional connection that drives them to try to fill their needs through physical intensity? A sort misdirected need. Actually I think this is exactly what is happening with most of them. This is also what drives some people to go from sexual partner to partner, they never stay long enough for it to develop or grow into anything deep. They are trying to feed a hunger, fill a need. a void. Like fast food, they don't understand the need for time and interaction and openness.
The thought about people who are controlling or manipulative is that they seek to fill their needs not by caring and growing with someone but by controlling them instead. We hear so much on here about people who have a caring partner but still chase after what are essentially imaginary experiences online or who misuse the one who loves them. I've been through some of this and pretty much labled them jerks - but what motivates it? Why is there so much of it? I just got to thinking they must not feel connected. Really deeply connected. This may go back to childhood or early relationships.
I wondered if anyone else observed this?
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