Well dear, the older (I'm over 50, seen lots of it) you get, the more baggage people have. And they do seem to enjoy hauling it around with them and dusting it off and trying to hang it on who ever has the audacity to come into their lives. You'd think they would learn from it what ever Useful Lessons there were and leave the rest behind but few seem to.
Don't let go of your good loving, caring qualities. She just may not be ready for a positive relationship. There isn't a lot you can do except be a freind, offer gentle encouragement and know that you can't change her. She has to do the changing for herself. I'm dealing with this myself. Some people get so locked into a script that even when they know it is hurting them they just can't quit playing it.
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