Thanks to all who replied, I sincerely appreciate your advice and insight.
I know that I am a strong woman (I like to think so anyway)...I am successful in my career, have 4 great kids who respect me and love me, have a great husband, I look after myself, I work hard.... I have never had feelings of insecurity until lately, and I am not sure why. I have been trying to find discussions and things to compare to, but not finding much in print. I suddenly feel old and replaceable, suddenly, there are women everywhere who are extremely young and fit and happy and available...... which is quite ridiculous, I'm very sure young and beautiful women have always been around me and my husband, but lately it seems they are everywhere and even more beautiful than ever. I am amazed at their brazen confidence, I have been at functions with my husband, where we have been approached by a young female collegue (the same age as our daughter), who approaches us and speaks only to him, she talks quickly and confidently, and mentions casually how she is going crazy at home alone trying to figure out how to decorate her hew condo. He will bring me into the conversation at once, "you havent met my wife yet have you?", whereupon she will quickly nod at me and leave. I fight feelings of anger and jealousy, and feel bitter towards my husband, and why? He has done nothing wrong......I have done nothing wrong....except get older. Why do men have "the edge" with getting older.....an older woman? they remind everyone of their Mom or Grandma....
I smiled so much at Kaylar's comment about saying "look dear - the wants to give you a blowjob". Yes, that would DEFINITELY get her attention and my husbands... He might never recover from that one, he would also think I had lost my mind completely.....but it might be better than the feelings of .....I must be invisible and so completely unimportant, that I'd like to sink into oblivion....