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Twenty five years after they had divorced, Ed sent
Jo an email.
She not only read it, she analysed it, and could
explain exactly why he wrote it, what meant by
it...
Jo was a battered wife.
Having learned how to survive, she knew more
of Ed than he did himself.
Crafting a response, knowing exactly how he would
reply, she smiled when she received his next email...
knowing that no matter what she wrote, he would
not reply.
Ed's second wife had divorced him, taken everything,
and because he needed to feel good about himself
he turned back to Jo.
He needed to reduce Jo to some level of inferiority
and would use emails for his brand of 'verbal' abuse.
He didn't respond to Jo's message, (as she expected)
nor did she write another, (as he expected), she could
almost mark a calendar as to when his next post would
come....one month later...and it's contents...some sort
of demand/requirement/order that she do/go/say something.
When the email came, Jo did not answer right away as
expected. She let 24 hours pass and took the con of
his pros.
As he had simply written to get her to do/go/say and
as she knew she would not do/go/say, she could create
more logically reasons as to why she would not.
He responded quickly because he felt his 'control' slipping.
That he had lost 'control' of Jo more than 25 years ago
was unknown to him.
As an abuser, Ed, could not comprehend that he had
'lost' and that there was no way for him to 'win'.
After a period of silence, Jo wrote him a vague email,
knowing he would not respond, but that he would
write again in two months.
It was ten words.
She answered in six.
He wrote back five
she answered in one.
His next email was his hallmark.
Crafted to make her feel bad about herself.
Jo knew this was coming.
And was surprised when for the next few
minutes she felt as bad as he intended.
Remarkable, she thinks, realising that he still
had that vicious streak in which he could only
feel good about himself by trying to demean her.
Abusive Husbands never change.
They must, at all times, feel superior to
the women in their ambit.
No matter what it is, they must demean.
If she won a beauty contest, he would mention
there were prettier women in the array.
If she won the Nobel Prize, he would say it
was a slow year.
No matter what it is, he must seek to demean.
Jo responded saying; "For a moment, but just
a moment, I thought it was 25 years ago."
For a moment, Jo was cast back into that
posture of Worm Woman. But just a moment.
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