Mothers of Teen Boys
Hello all, I recently posted a thread in the relationships section. I got alot of good advice and support there and thought I'd come back for more.
First, a little background. I am 21 yrs old, married, and I currently have custody of my little brother, who is actually 16.
We came from parents who, for as long as I could remember, cheated on each other and ran out on us.
My problem is that my brother is having trouble in school. He's not stupid, or even a little slow. At the contrary he qaulifies for advance classes, and is amazingly quick to pick up on new things.
My problem is that when he is in school, this past school year for example, he just wont turn in his work.
When his grades first started slipping, I suggested that we move him back to normal classes. I didn't like the idea, because he has so much potential to excel in those classes, but I thought maybe if he had a lighter work load he would actually turn in his home work and boost his grades back up.
When that didn't work, I tried forcing him to go to tutoring, so that if he had any questions he could get help. I tightened the reins as far as his priviledges at home, and even went as far as coming home early from work to sit with him while he did his home work.
Well, that didn't do me any good because somewhere between my house and his classroom the assignments he had finished, would disappear and he wasn't turning them in.
Towards the end ofthe year I had to endup walking with him in the mornings to make sure he turned the assignments in. Not only that but I had every teachers number and email address, and kept up with every asignment, and followed up with an email, to be sure it got turned in if I couldn't go with him.
I don't want to do this again this year. He came so close to failing 2 classes last year and I just don't understand why, as smart as he is, he won't just do the work. Or why, when he's put the time and effort into doing the work, he won't just turn it in.
I got a promotion at work, that is actually going to make things better as far as my homelife is considered, and I'll be able to put more money into his college fund. But I'm not going to be able to follow him around and make sure he does his work. I will porbably still do follow ups with his teachers, but he is going to be turning 17 soon and he needs to start taking responsibility for himself and his future.
I've talked, I've yelled, I've punished, I don't know what else to do.
Does any one have any advice?
It makes this especially hard, because I know I'm not his mother, but I am his sister and I love him very much. I just want him to be able to succeed, because he is so amazing, and if he just tried a little, he could go so far inlife. Idon't want him to hold himself back.
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