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Curtis was an urbane, courteous gentleman. I was looking
forward to working with him.
We met for a business lunch and virtually as soon as he
sat down, he began wife bashing.
I tried to deflect, but as soon as possible, returned to his
topic.
Wife-bashing is usually followed by an invitation to a sexual
tryst, so I waited for him to get around to the denouement.
He continued on and on listing his wife's faults, I stopped
him, diverted to business.
After a few non-commital responses, he returned to his
topic, and i brought the lunch to a close.
As I departed I assumed I had truncated his preface, and
that he had spent so much time wasting time, he could
not reach the point of all this bashing...that is...to invite
me to a tryst.
A week later, he virtually insisted I drive with him to
the all important meeting. I, assuming he wished to
discuss his matter, agreed.
After a few amenities, he resumed his wife bashing.
As if he had bookmarked his conversation, he picked
up at the last statement he had made.
I stopped him, diverted to business. A few remarks
and then back to the bashing.
I interrupted with a few remarks concerning current
events, and issues, politely, but firmly, attempting to
telegraph to him that I was not interested in his
dissection of his wife, nor the invitation to the sexual
tryst I assumed he was leading up to.
He seemed unable to speak about anything but his
wife. And I was reaching my level of saturation when
we arrived.
He seemed to wish to postpone decisions and I assumed
he would to discuss them in depth on the way back.
No.
He wanted to continue to wife bash.
I demanded he stop or I would jump out of the vehicle.
He stopped, and lapsed into silence.
Reaching my destination I left him, quite puzzled at his
behaviour, and decided that the next meeting, if any
would be in the presence of his wife.
Another woman who did business with him rang me up
to ask about him. She too had her ears banged about
his wife, not about the stocks he wished to buy or requests
for investment advice. He attended this woman's office
took her for a business lunch, and spent the hour bashing
his wife.
She, as I, assumed this was the prologue to the sexual
invitation. She, as I met him a second time, for business,
and he again resumed his verbal crucifixion of his wife.
Curtis is an abusive husband. There is no question that
his verbal abuse of his wife, in her presence as well as
behind her back is domestic violence.
But for Curtis it is something more.
It is a kind of adultery.
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