The Pill - FREAKING OUT!

**sammi18** · 07-06-2009 07:39 AM

I've been with my boyfriend for 3months and we do use condoms but sometimes we get started before he puts one on so im nervous about the pre-ejaculation that occurs...also, he's my first serious boyfriend and im an absolute idiot and dont know how to tell him wen i have my period so i just end up avoiding him for 5 or 6 days...stupid i know.

So i want to go on the pill as back up contraception and also to make my period shorter....i want to make an appointment to see a doctor tomorrow, i also dont have a regular doctor, so when i call what will they ask? and when i see the doctor what will i need to say?

I also have a family history of varicose veins which i've heard is bad to go on the pill and i have had an eating disorder and some experiences with depression so im extremely nervous about going on it...im starting to think i should just end the relationship so i can avoid all of this...HELP

**Little** · 07-06-2009 09:01 AM

Take a deeeep breath!
It's completely normal to not exactly know how to communicate embarrassing issues if it's your first relationship. It doesn't make you an idiot, especially if you *know* you should be communicating. Realizing is the first step.
Usually it takes a doctor a week or two to get you in the office, then another 7 days of pills before they kick in, so it's best not to hold your breath waiting for it to work. But different doctors are different. The experience I've had and heard from others is that most of them are more than willing to throw a pack of pills at you to "make it all better," especially if you aren't going to be one of his/her regular patients. That's NOT necessarily a good thing, but if you want to try out the pill no matter what, it may work for you.
Just remember to try to stay calm. I think that will help you out a great deal. I don't know about the varicose veins, but hopefully someone else will!

**Hopeless Dork** · 07-06-2009 09:13 AM

Just be sure to tell the doctor when you go on your birth control appointment all of your medical and family history and if they don't ask about things like the veins... bring it up, express your concern : its your life your talking about and they are serving BC pills and other contraceptive all day so make sure they have all the info necessary to get you on the right form.

It may be that pills aren't for you, but there are numerous other back up methods you can get on. Once you tell them all your history and concerns they will be able to let you know what is the safest form for you.

Its good that you are getting on the back up method since your guy starts early without the condom. If he has masturbated or ejaculated with you in some kind of way recent to the encounter their may still be viable sperm expelled during pre-ejaculate. And even without that.. theres always that risk. Not to mention if he shoots off early some weird occasion.

About the period thing. I understand where you are coming from, but you have got to keep in mind.. you are having sex with this man. You are giving and receiving something pretty intimate , the most physical intimate thing you can do with a person. That does not however, make emotional and verbal intimacy any easier. But it SHOULD.

He's grown up enough to have sex with you, I am sure he has heard a rumor or two that all of the female humans menstruate monthly. I don't think it will come as too much of a surprise if some day you want to hang out with him (even though you are on it) and when he reaches for your pants you say "oh.. wait.. some lady business going on down there for a couple days" and smile.

Some people still have sex on their period with using towels. I am not comfortable enough to do that yet so me and my boyfriend usually do alternative things to fill those urges during that lady business time.

When you see a regular doctor, most of the time they will ask you when your last period was and what birth control you are on and always always speak the truth. Don't put your health in jeopardy over embarassment and while on that note... don't hold yourself back from hanging out with your boyfriend (if you want to see him that is) on days you don't want to have sex (period or no period).

It may be a blessing in disguise, it may be time that you can spend just cuddling, talking, having fun or learning to please each other differently and can make you guys even closer.

**ginger22** · 07-06-2009 05:00 PM

I had the same problem! I was so worried about telling my boyfriend about my period and stuff. but when we started to mess around it got even harder to avoid telling him. then, one day I was at his house and we were flirting and such and I had to go to the bathroom. So I went and low and behold my period started right then and there! I didn't have anything with me either. So I had to suck it up and tell him. =/

He took it really well. Like he wasn't all grossed out and making fun of me. He told me there were pads in the cabinet and I just got one and all was well. I was so nervous about telling him for nothing. =) Now we can freely talk about stuff like that with no problems or embarrassment and it feels great. So:
1) don't end the relationship because your afraid to tell him

2) try the pill. When you go to the doctor they don't ask any questions when you want to go on the pill. except maybe "Are you sexually active?" But it's really discreet. If the pill doesn't work (gives you weird side affects, etc.) stop taking it. there are plenty more ways of BC. Go to your OBGYN and ask.

I was on three different pills and they all made me sick. So I started on the depo shot today. and my doctor told me "We will find something that works" because getting pregnant is NOT an option for me. lol.

I'm sry for the novel-like length. lol. I hope I helped a little. Good luck! =)