Wil

Greetings to all.

Here is the scenario.

I've recently began dating someone (about a month now), and everything has been perfect. We both feel we've found something very special in each other and have already talked openly and at length about long-term plans. So it's a great relationship with life-long partnership written all over it.

During our first sexual experience together I experienced difficulty penetrating. I suggested utilizing a condom and she declined, informing me it was her first time and she was afraid a condom would generate more pain. She reassured me that she was on the pill, of which I was already fully aware. I further suggested providing her with oral sex to aid lubrication, but she also declined.

We proceeded with the sexual act, gently and unprotected, while I inquired her often about pain or discomfort. We did not use withdrawal and I eventually completed an unprotected ejaculation, while inside her and in the missionary position, which I'm told facilitates fertilization or so the urban legend goes. Contact with the hymen also led to bleeding and pain. I provided her with comfort and support for several hours, genuinely concerned about her experience.

After intercourse she revealed that she had been having loose bowel movements, for the previous day and a half, possibly as a result of moderate consumption of Red Bull.

Understanding that diarrhea reduces BCP efficiency we decided to purchase a Morning-after pill. She consumed it roughly 13 hours after intercourse.

So reviewing all the facts:

• Partner on Birth-control, taken early every morning;
• Partner suffered from moderately frequent loose bowel movements for day and a half prior to unprotected sex;
• Loose bowel movement occurred shortly after taking the pill in the morning (approximately 30 minutes after taking pill);
• Full internal and unprotected ejaculation occurred while in missionary position, during night between the 10th and 11th day of her menstruation cycle;
• Morning after pill taken roughly 13 hours after unprotected sex;
• Pregnancy is unwanted by both.

She has reported moderate side-effects to me, from the MAP. Tummy-aches, slight dizziness and tiredness, and slight tenderness in breasts.

Granted the complex set of circumstances, what are the chances she may be pregnant? I've come to understand that the MAP is not very effective after ovulation has occurred. How likely is it that she had ovulated at the time of intercourse, due to the diarrhea's effect on the BCP?

I feel terribly anxious, although she does a great job of reassuring me that everything will be fine. Need I be so worried?

Thank you all in advance for your help.


P.S. Regardless of the outcome: Lesson learned. No more penetration without full protection.

Kallygirlie

I think everything should be fine. With the bcp and plan B pill i would say you houldn't need to worry to much. Now what I dont understand is some of what you said. She said she didn't want you to use a condom because it would hurt more? I've never heard that one before. I mean I know some with lub on them can irritate a female but how would she know? I think you should def keep yourself protected in the future. Let her know, no condom, no sex. If you dont want a child then thats the best way. no one ever said you can be over protected

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Krystal

WildChild

Maybe prolonged diahrea will lessen ANY medications effectiveness but it if she's been on BC for a while and had that for a day or two, it's not an issue. The morning after pill can have all sorts of effects. It's not fun to take. Probably wasn't needed.

Chances of pregnancy are really small. Really, really. If you are exclusive and she takes the pill as she should, there is no reason to use other protection. If that's the case why not forget pill and putting all those extra hormones in her body and just use the condoms and a spermacide? I disagee with Kally, you can go overboard with this. I really don't understand how it is that young people are so poorly educated on this. Well, I do understand, our education on this has gotten so skewed as to be close to useless. My generation didn't worry about this half as much and had a lower pregnancy rate -we didn't have all the STDs to worry about. No body posts about STD concerns, just pregnancy scares. Ok, my older lady rant is over.

Since the two of you are looking at an LTR, why don't you go to Planned Parenthood together and get some reasurance and education -together? You'll both feel better and then you can relax more and enjoy sex more! Total win/win.

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Kallygirlie

sorry WC, i guess i worded that incorrectly. yes you can over do pretection, i just meant if he is so scared of pregnancy nothings wrong with being on BC and use a condom. I used to be on bc and make them wear a condom jsut to protect against your second point about STD's. You are completely right tho about pregnancy rates and STDs having lower rates in the past. I personally stopped taking BC because I didn't like the extra going in my body but with today with the teens. Honestly I think double protection is better because all to many times a someone a jpartner into doing it with out a condom or someones lied about having an STD. Its gotten really crazy. Heck I ended up with high risk HPV because my bf ex thought it was just a virus that would go away and felt there was no need to let him know (she told me that not him). When I think protection I think both aspects and it is totally crazy that today people are more worried about pregnance and not STD's

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Krystal

Wil

I'm grateful for all the quick feedback.


I was surprised to hear that as well. She explained to me that her previous and only other boyfriend had never been able to penetrate her despite two attempts, because she backed down from pain and first time nervousness. Attempts while wearing condoms. She eventually broke up with him before attempting without protection.

We've both agreed on using protection from now on.

For WildChild,. We're both well educated adults however. An Engineer and a Speech therapist, 29 and 23 years of age. The use of the MAP was based on an honest concern that diarrhea might have overridden the effect of two consecutive pills. Lack of information was not exactly a problem. Also we're both European so the education system isn't at fault either. Perhaps we were overcautious after our first intensely passionate moment. Eventually going to planned parenthood together sounds like a great idea.

STD's are not an issue either. We've both had relatively unglamorous sex-lives. She was a virgin prior to our first moment together, and I've only had one previous partner, about 4 years ago.

Her period is expected in early October. I'll let you know what happens.

WildChild

Kalley, most times HPV will be taken care of by your body within 3 yrs. As with most health issues a properly working immune system will take care of it. Just as we all have cancer cells in our bodies all the time; it isn't until stress or other factors create a situation that over takes our immune system that it gets out of control. Personally I see condoms as more about STD control than BC, I'm amazed at the number of people who report them breaking -they must not be storing or handling them properly. I'm over 50, have had many partners over the last 38 years and do not HPV, statistically I have been exposed to it several times and assume my immune system took care of it. Good diet, exersize, meditation are key.

Wil, Didn't mean to sound judgemental, there is an incredible amount of flat out misinformation in the US on all this. The abstinance teaching has apparently made all BC sound unreliable and scary. I've read stuff from people in programs teaching and working with this that it's actually been intentional as means of promoting certain groups agendas. I get frustrated with it. Some people are so scared of it they are using 3 methods and then will take the MAP. Then they want to know why they don't enjoy sex and their bodies are reacting. Knowing what the options really are and how to utilize what you select appropriately is what it really takes.

Your lady may have something with the condoms and difficulty. I'm generally pretty juicy all the time, but with a condom I don't stay as wet, as long and may end up needing lube - which I don't ever need w/o a condom. Don't know why, but somehow the stimulation is different or it just needs "more".

__________________
We can only learn to love by loving.

Iris Mudoch, British writer

Wil

My partner is midway through her 2nd month on Yaz, the one with the 24/4 cycle. She told me today she had some yellowish vaginal discharge.

Wil

Glad to see the forum back online again.

Last Saturday night at a birthday party (4 days after taking the morning after pill) my partner felt nauseous and threw up. She's been feeling an increase in appetite. Obviously MA-pill symptoms. She decided to take a two day break with her BC pills to reduce the hormone intake that's been overwhelming her system. She's feeling much better now.

The yellowish vaginal discharge continued, but has decreased in the last couple of days. Any ideas on what that might have been? Semen residue perhaps?

CHANDLERS WISH

Firstly your are such a great guy for caring not just viewing it from OMG perspective.

Yellowish discharge ask her if it itches?

This sounds like thrush and seeing as she refused for oral etc, she may not have been wet enough also you have to ask why she refused that? Is she scared? Does she not like it? Obviously you understand intimacy.

Even jeans tightly worn can cause this .. just so you know.

Not taking a pill is WRONG... you can't take a break... you will have to wear a condom and you will have to use lube.. as let's face it, it's rubber and will rub... and cause problems.

Not taking the pill without protection will cause a pregnancy... or could if i should say...

If the pill is wrong for her then she needs to go to the Doctor and work out a lower dosage pill that can help her more... to reduce the hormone intake....

CW

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Wil

I was just on the phone with her a few moments ago. It doesn't itch. She's feeling much better. She's got the sniffles, but nothing serious. That's likely from a walk we went out for last night.

I suppose her reservations about receiving oral sex, etc, derive mostly from her sexual inexperience and traditional/rural background. She says it's 'confusing'. She had no misgivings about mutual hand stimulation however. It flowed naturally from foreplay, she was able to reach orgasm and she enjoyed it. I'm very confident that we'll work things out together as our relationship matures.

We're increasingly confidant also that there is no pregnancy on the horizon. We'd love to have children, but just not at this time. We've basically just met and live separately. Neither of us are religious, but given our catholic backgrounds, a pregnancy at this time would be like a panic bomb going off for our families.

We're putting intercourse off until the current 'morning after pill' situation subsides. She plans to see a gynecologist in October.