Will my sex drive ever come back??? Scared...Please help!

**froglipz77** · 01-15-2010 12:57 PM

Hi there, I had the implanon removed a month ago. I used to be VERY sexual and I'd say it was one of my favourite things! In fact my boyfriend used to joke that he couldn't keep up. I had it removed as it has completely stolen my sex drive to the point where it has nearly wrecked my relationship. I have had a copper coil fitted now instead.

Anyway, what I really want to know is how long it will be until things get back to normal or indeed IF they will. I am FREAKING out as I can't find any info anywhere. Please if you have been in the same situtaion could you let me know. I'm terrified it won't come back and that it will ruin an amazing relationship with my beautiful boyfriend.

**kira** · 01-15-2010 06:48 PM

There's no way to put an exact time limit on it. Partially it depends how long you were on birth control. It can take a year to fully recover from hormonal birth control if you take it for a long time. I didn't have normal periods for that long after taking yasmin for several years. There's also some psychological impact when you have a low sex drive for a long time. It can take awhile to start thinking that way again. Frustration over your lack of sex drive and stress in the relationship from it will also only make it harder. The less important sex seems the less stressed you get over and the more you want to do it. Worrying that it will ruin your relationship won't help. If you have a good relationship you should be able to overcome a temporary problem like that. Just keep enjoying each others company and do things you enjoy that might get you more interested in sex. Whether you are male or female the level of your sex drive depends a lot on your thought patterns and mood.

**froglipz77** · 01-15-2010 07:22 PM

A year! I feel like crying!! Thank you for replying, and I know it shouldn't be such a big deal but it was such a big part of our relationship before and now its like there's a big hole. He feels like I've gone off him and its messed his head to the point he almost seems depressed by it. We still love each other's company and have a great time together but it's like there's a huge elephant in the bedroom every time we go to bed! He's hurting and I hate that because although he says he understands it's not my fault I still feel like I've made him feel this way.
Our relationship was as near to perfect as you could imagine before this stupid thing went in my arm and now I'm scared this issue could break us. Sorry, I know I must sound really negative, I just need to rant. I really thought I would be back to myself in a matter of weeks.

**froglipz77** · 01-15-2010 07:25 PM

Does anyone else have any experience of this? I'd love to hear from you, good or bad...

**WildChild** · 01-15-2010 08:09 PM

There are some threads with mention of this. I think you missed an important point that kira made, please re-read this. The mind is the biggest factor, don't get yourself into a state of belief that this take a year! Find ways to make yourself feel special and desirable.

Originally Posted by kira

There's also some psychological impact when you have a low sex drive for a long time. It can take awhile to start thinking that way again. Frustration over your lack of sex drive and stress in the relationship from it will also only make it harder. The less important sex seems the less stressed you get over and the more you want to do it. Worrying that it will ruin your relationship won't help. If you have a good relationship you should be able to overcome a temporary problem like that. Just keep enjoying each others company and do things you enjoy that might get you more interested in sex. Whether you are male or female the level of your sex drive depends a lot on your thought patterns and mood.

**Hopeless Dork** · 01-16-2010 01:20 AM

Frog do you guys still share other forms of intimacy? This can take a toll on your partner for more than just the obvious not having sex part... it can make the partner feel like its their fault, that they just don't turn you on, aren't desirable to you etc.

If they are not that confident to begin with, it can really make them insecure and your relationship does/ has will suffer.

I know that you are going through a hard time right now with not having your drive or being able to take the pleasure from sex you once did... that'll come back to you. I am not advising you to have sex with him just for his sake, no one wants to feel like they are getting made love to out of pitty... that isn't great on the ego either.

But have you tried other forms of closeness, giving him pleasure in other ways besides sex occasionally ... and/or allowing him to pleasure your body in non sexual specific , yet intimate ways like long full body massages?

While you just try to relax and let nature take its course for you to feel the sensations and drive you once had, you could still make love in alternative ways, sexual/closeness intimacy for him, emotional/closeness/intimacy for you until you also get the sexual side factored back in .

Do you guys still snuggle? Are you affectionate and playful with each other? Or is the fact that you aren't becoming arroused sneaking its way into impacting other facets of your physical bonding?

**froglipz77** · 01-16-2010 02:46 AM

Hi guys, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. Wildchild, I know a lot of it is psychological and I do need to be much more positive, I guess I just had it in my head that everything would just click back into place. And HD, that's exactly how he's feeling; that he doesn't turn me on and that I've totally gone off him. What makes it especially hard is before all this I was always all over him so to go from that to this has really knocked him. We do still snuggle and a few times I've made an effort to pleasure him just to take the pressure off things but he's told me that that's worse because it feels like sympathy. He says he would rather give me pleasure than to receive it. and the fact that he can't I guess makes him feel pretty awful. His self esteem is rock bottom right now whereas he was really confident before.