Birth Control Problems - Need Advice!
Hi all, I'm new here but I'm jumping right in with a question that's very important to me (and my fiance!).
We've been together for 5 years (going on 6) and we've used the pill (in various kinds and doses) for most of that time. Unfortunately, the pill has always been inconvenient for me (I forget to take it a lot), and the side effects have gotten to be too much. After the latest change in pills, I've completely lost my sex drive as well as being fatigued and I've been spotting every time I forget even one pill, and keep bleeding for up to a week after I remember to take them again. It's driving me nuts, and I've stopped taking them. Now I've been researching other birth control methods, only to meet with frustration - There is simply nothing out there that sounds like it would work well for me!
I tried the shot once, but the side effects for me were too uncomfortable and I decided not to continue with it despite reassurances that the nausea, spot bleeding, etc would go away "after a few more shots". I have a life to live; I can't be going about my job (which involves working in other peoples' houses, with kids) while wondering whether or not I'm going to randomly bleed through my jeans. IUDs carry too many risks, one-use contraceptives like diaphragms, condoms and sponges are inconvenient and unlikely to get much use especially considering most of our "alone time" is when one or both of us is already tired and doesn't want to deal with contraceptives. He doesn't want to deal with a vasectomy (although we have discussed it). I'm out of options, and frustrated.
Other methods of hormonal birth control like NuvaRing sounded good at first but now I am just sick and tired of hormones, and wary of trying any single-dose products after my experience with the Depo shot. I'm tiny (110lbs soaking wet), I have a very fast metabolism, and most of the hormone doses out there do not play nice with my body. I've had bad cramping, morning sickness, complete lack of sexual urges, yeast infections, and all kinds of other problems since starting the pill, and have changed it at least 3 times now due to supply issues (I get them through low-income clinics, so they don't always have the brand-name pills), complaints (I started on a higher dose pill, then was switched when I complained of side effects...), and finally because I moved to a new city and therefore a new clinic. I don't want to go back to the clinic and be told that they're switching me again, wait 2-3 months to see if my body adjusts differently to this pill, rinse, repeat. It's not worth wasting my time. I'm covered by SelectPlan so the pill is free (for now), but I want birth control that works for me.
At this point we are both in our mid 20s and don't want kids. Fiance says 'never', I say 'maybe we'll do temp foster care when we're rich', but we've pretty well agreed that I'm not going to be giving birth. I've looked at tubal ligation - what do you guys think of it? I'm not sure I'd be able to afford it unless PA's SelectPlan covers at least partial cost, but I'm going to talk to my doctor the next time I'm there, which might be a month or more... in the meantime, I wanted the opinions of real people, not doctors. What do you use as birth control? Do you think sterilization is a good option for me? If no, why not and what else would you suggest? And finally - do you know if PA's SelectPlan covers sterilization procedures and if not, how much I can expect to pay? We're relatively poor but I'm determined to get proper birth control methods in place before I end up paying for an abortion, and if I have to start saving for surgery, so be it.
Oops sorry just posted a reply but looks like I didn't read your post carefully enough, hang on...
What do you mean, IUDs carry too many risks? Which risks have you heard of?
I think the IUD's the best option for you at this point. Cheap, easy, long-term... I have one now myself and am very happy.
Thanks for the reply.Originally Posted by Mes_T
When did you get your IUD put in place, and have you had any problems or changes associated with it?
I've read that they can carry increased risk of cancer if used long-term, plus the issues of falling out, uncomfortable heavy periods or cramping. My family has a high cancer risk already, and ovarian cancer isn't something I want to mess with. I am also wary of them because no one's really sure how they work (best guess is that they prevent implantation, right?) even now with all the rest of the medical breakthroughs we've made... I like to know how things work naturally, so the mystery surrounding IUDs seems both strange and off-putting to me.
I know the newer IUDs are safer and probably more comfortable, so I'll ask the doctor about them, if you think they're a good option - anything non-hormonal is worth a try, at this point! I'd even be willing to do homeopathic birth control, if I could find anything that was proven to work well enough...
You might want to search for a big ongoing thread here about the copper/paragard IUD. You'll get to read lots of experiences there.
Personally, I have gotten heavier periods and some cramping (where there was none before), but to me it's worth it. I can't use hormonal methods - makes my hair fall out. And I didn't consider a cervical cap or diaphragm because I didn't want to have to put things in and take them out all the time...
I haven't heard the increased cancer risk that you mentioned, and I'm not sure how that would be possible with a non-hormonal IUD... But it's definitely something to talk to your doc about, couldn't hurt!
Paragard IUDs work by releasing just enough copper into the uterus to make it inhospitable to sperm. Doesn't sound as full-proof on paper, but the results show that the IUD's just as effective as a correctly taken pill.
As for comfort, well apart from the possible changes to your menstruation, you shouldn't feel this bugger at all.
I'd definitely suggest asking your doctor about it. I worry about your prospects if you're in the States, though. Docs there seem to be a lot less open to options that aren't overly mainstream.
As for homeopathy, now there's an area that definitely has no scientific research to back up any of their medicine.
I hadn't heard about paraguard. I'll check the big thread and see what people are saying
Yeah, here in the US they mostly push the Pill, and if it's not the pill it's NuvaRing or Depo. I actually did a lot of research last month on homeopathic methods of birth control and found a plant extract that works in theory and is sometimes used by women as birth control, but no one's done any serious clinical studies on use as a birth control method; just some anthropological studies on its use by native american tribes, and some stuff about hormone receptor inhibition in mice. It's too expensive to be buying that kind of stuff if I don't know 100% that it's viable in humans, so I'm avoiding it for now.
I keep looking for more information on sterilization but a lot of it just sums up the procedure and ends with "talk to your doctor". I'd like to be completely educated -before- I talk to my doctor, because in my experience clinic doctors would rather screw you over (excuse the language) and get you out the door with your new pills than sit and have an intelligent conversation about your health. I don't blame them; they're stressed and dealing with a lot of people every day, but that makes it even more important for me to know what I'm talking about, so I don't have to rely on their information or waste their time.
It's all about what you feel most comfortable with. I used the pill for 12 years, except when I was pregnant and had a tubal about a year ago. The tubal, for me, was a piece of cake. I had no problems. However, Dr's don't like going that route if you've never had kids, even if you swear up and down that you never plan on having them.
My cousin, knew she never wanted kids and went to the Dr when she was 19 for a tubal. He wouldn't do it and told her to come back when she was 25. She did, she had to sign a ton of waivers, etc. But it did happen for her.
Can't help you on the coverage part. Mine was $18k last year, in the SouthWest, thankfully, my hubby's insurance covered it 100%.
Friendship Prayer
May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person who screws up your day and may their arms be too short to scratch.
Amen
Whoever said anything was possible obviously never tried slamming a revolving door.
I know you've heard it, but I'll say it again, you're young in your mid 20's, so am I (okay well maybe late 20's but who's countin!) and at this point I don't know that I want kids. You're pretty certain you don't. BUT, let me tell you that life can change ever so quickly, and dramatically. Your relationship may last forever, and I hope it does......but if it doesn't, you may meet someone down the road who is passionate about having children, and you MIGHT change your mind. I'd really hate for you to do something to yourself that can never be changed at such an early age. It's amazing sometimes how time can change us even when we're certain it won't.
Your bf on the other hand, can get a vasectomy as basically an outpatient procedure, no real recovery period, no scars, etc........and can be reversed if at some point in his life his mind changes. I know he "doesn't want to deal with a vasectomy"...... but it makes WAY more sense.
I commend you for trying to make an informed decision whatever that decision may be and I hope you find a way to make this safely work for both of you.
You have good pointsI know you've heard it, but I'll say it again, you're young in your mid 20's, so am I (okay well maybe late 20's but who's countin!) and at this point I don't know that I want kids. You're pretty certain you don't. BUT, let me tell you that life can change ever so quickly, and dramatically. Your relationship may last forever, and I hope it does......but if it doesn't, you may meet someone down the road who is passionate about having children, and you MIGHT change your mind. I'd really hate for you to do something to yourself that can never be changed at such an early age. It's amazing sometimes how time can change us even when we're certain it won't.
Your bf on the other hand, can get a vasectomy as basically an outpatient procedure, no real recovery period, no scars, etc........and can be reversed if at some point in his life his mind changes. I know he "doesn't want to deal with a vasectomy"...... but it makes WAY more sense.
I commend you for trying to make an informed decision whatever that decision may be and I hope you find a way to make this safely work for both of you.
My appointment with Planned Parenthood is tomorrow, so I go in for an exam (and to make sure I'm not pregnant in the 2-3 weeks I've been off the pill) and to discuss b/c options. I am still planning on discussing potential sterilization, but it's not something I'm set on. I also want to ask about the Paragard IUD. I am really shying away from more hormonal treatments at this point because 2 weeks after I got off the pill my sex drive is finally coming back! I've discussed vasectomy with fiance and he says he really doesn't do the whole surgery thing (he's the kind of guy who avoids doctors like they're an infectious disease!) but we agreed that if the doctor doesn't think an IUD would work for me, or if sterilization is too expensive/not encouraged, we'll discuss vasectomy further.
As far as kids go, although I work with special-needs kids on a daily basis and enjoy interacting with kids (especially the little ones!), I don't think I'll ever want a baby of my own. I realize this may change, but if it does there are SO many kids out there in need of adoption or fostering! I don't think fiance would be up for having kids for several years yet anyway; as good as he is with pets and adults, he's just not comfortable around babies!
This forum has been a great source of advice; thanks so much! I'm nervous and excited to go in and talk to the doctor tomorrow. Maybe I can finally get birth control that works for me!
Update
Talked to the doc on Saturday afternoon. She listened to the problems I was having and repeated all that I've heard here about the IUD, and reassured me that she has inserted a lot of them for women who have never had children so I am in good hands. I'll be doing a call/walk-in for the IUD probably next week when my period starts, although she wants me to take a pregnancy test as well to make sure that the last 2 weeks of my sex drive finally coming back haven't resulted in any... er, overenthusiastic outcomes. XD
I also made sure the cost was covered, so I'm free and clear! She did offer to put it in on Saturday while I was there, but I hadn't been prepared for it and so I decided against it. I'd rather go in with some painkillers ready, just in case!
Don't worry. This procedure is safe and won't hurt you, so painkillers won't be required. But from the date you posted it seems you have already gone through the procedure. Are you ok now?
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