Hard Decision, Need Advice

**jc16** · 05-14-2011 05:07 PM

Hi, I'm new on here, first post yayay! I've decided that I need womanly advice and since I can't fully talk about this with my mother I figure why not try a forum! Here is the situation......

I've been on birth control pills for about 8 years and have tried at least 10 to 15 different brands. Every single one of them have given me some type of bad side effect. The main 3 things are horrible acne, absolutely no sex drive, and how witchy I get around my period. No sex drive has hurt my marriage bigtime! And my mood swings have gotten so bad that my boss has actually said something to me about how mean I can get, and that I need to get help because I'm making everybody walk around on eggshells. No wonder everybody ignores me a week out of every month!

So I decided to try Seasonique thinking I could reduce the drama from monthly down to quarterly. Seasonique has been the one pill I've ever gained weight with and I have had the absolute worst case of acne in my entire life. My husband is worried because my face is starting to scar. He is actually wanting me to get off of birth control pills completely....and thats my delima. I am scared to death of getting off the pill because I'm not ready to be a mother yet! It has been my #1 security for 8 years!

We have always done the pull out method as well because I'm paranoid. Going down to just pulling out feels risky. Do other married couples do the pull out method or am I just extremely crazy? My husband doesn't like the idea of having to use condoms. So do we continue with the pull out method, do spermicide and calender counting? Even all that together sounds so risky!

I am also extremely worried about how my body is going to react to coming off the pill since I've been on it so long. I've read about a lot of negative things. I'd love for my face to clear up and for my sex drive to come back but the sex drive thing just makes my baby paranoia worse. Before I got on the pill my sex drive was extremely high and from what I can remember I was pretty regular, every32 days my period would come and I didn't have bad acne. I want to go back to that soo bad!

I just really don't know what to do and have been losing sleep about this whole thing. It's all I can think about. I'll be on my period next week so I need to make a decision fast! Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

**Mes T** · 05-14-2011 05:33 PM

Okay to me the decision seems clear. You're having terrible side effects on all hormonal pills, and will continue to do so if you stay on them. Going off the pill will be absolutely fine, your side effects will vanish, and you will be a much happier person.

I'm sorry, your husband doesn't "like" the idea of using condoms? WHAT? Given all that you've been through? I'm sure you didn't "like" having terrible acne either but stayed on the pills because it was in both your guys' interest. Tell him to "man up" and use condoms if that's what it comes to. Yeesh!

Sorry but that really hit a nerve! So he wants your skin to look perfect and is afraid of scarring, yet won't use condoms even if that's a good solution? Double-standards, much? You've been in charge of birth control for 8 years, it's HIS turn.

Phew.

Now that I've gotten that off my chest...

For the first few months when you're off the pill, don't have intercourse unless it's with a condom, and in the mean time chart your BBT (or calendaring as you called it). See if you're able to find patterns. Purchase a fertility watch as well to confirm your own findings. After a few months you'll be able to know exactly what your fertile days are.

The pull-out method is not a "method" at all. There is sperm in pre-cum, and at the end of the day you only need one of those little buggers to get pregnant.

**jessie1234** · 05-14-2011 11:01 PM

why not try something like an iud or something non hormonal?

**JadedQueen** · 05-15-2011 05:11 AM

GET OFF THE PILL.... in this day and age there are so many different forms of bc. Talk to your Doctor to see what he/she might suggest for you. Do some research on the various forms of bc that are currently available. I was on the pill for about 10 or so years and the side effects were horrible... but for the longest time I didn't even realize they were side effects. The pill caused weight gain for me as well... I tried every diet I could think of and I couldn't lose any weight. When I got off the pill to try to get pregnant (and got pregnant after 2 months of trying) I was actually losing weight being pregnant because I stopped taking the bc pills. When I was 9months pregnant I weighed 135 lbs.... (not a bad weight for being 9 mos pregnant) after my son was born and he was two months old I weighed 158. That's when I realized that bc pills were packing the weight on me bigtime. No one should weight more after having a baby then they did at full term pregnancy. After I went off the pill for good I also realized that the migraine headaches I used to get at least 3-5 times per month stopped completely. I never realized how negatively the pill was effecting me. Why be miserable when there are so many effective choices out there that won't cause the side effects and will still protect you from a pregnancy that you aren't quite ready for yet.

**jessie1234** · 05-15-2011 07:51 AM

the birth control gave me a stroke at 18.... i was very athletic, didnt smoke and had no risk factors. i dont like to discourage people from using what they are comfortable with... but feel it is good for people to understand the little risks on the side of the box can be real

**jc16** · 05-15-2011 08:35 AM

My Dr. and I have discussed the IUD idea but decided against it because I was diagnosed with Interstitial Cystitis about 4 years ago. I've also had pelvic floor muscle issues and yeasts infections a lot and we figured adding a foreign device to the mix might not be such a good idea. But after reading some of the posts on here, I'm starting to think that maybe a lot of that had to do with the pill!

I think we have decided to try getting off the pill. Today will be day #1 pill free as this is my period week and there is no need to take my sugar pills. It will be interesting to see who the "real me" is, even though i know it will probably take anywhere from 2-8 months to get the pill completely out of my system and for my body to learn to make its own hormones again. I am a little nervous of all the possible changes that could be taking place in the next few months. I hope and pray I am not a witch by heart, lol. I really hope the massive mood swings go away! As far as I can remember I was pretty regular before ever going on the pill.

I've ordered that Taking Charge of your Fertility book that everybody on here recommends, along with the basil body temp thermometer. We will be using condoms until I feel 100% comfortable letting that safety guard go. I know the longer we wait, the less the idea of having a child would be an issue as we want to have kids but just don't want to start trying for another year and a half probably. Having a kid wouldn't be horrible right now, we would just have to make a lot of changes faster than we had anticipated.

I am excited to see if I will actually get my sex life back. This has brought a lot of issues to my marriage, kinda pointless being on the pill when I am always anti-sexual. My husband has been extremely patient with me and I think it's time we break free of this major problem. We are young, it's time we start having a little fun in our marriage like we should be!

**NaturalChikk** · 05-19-2011 11:07 AM

I stopped taking the pill two months ago and I will NEVER EVER go back. I thought I was alone... chest pains, headache, tired, no sex drive (and I am usual very very ready to go all the time). Guys need to realize that while the pill works for some women, A LOT of women have negative reactions to it.

Jessie1234 I am hearing more and more about women having strokes on bcp when they have no risk factors. SCARY STUFF. Why don't our dr's inform us of these things?

We switched to condoms. We are getting married in a couple of months and are not opposed to getting pregnant so we are not 100% careful about always using them... but honestly, the condoms aren't that bad. In fact, there are so many fun flavored, ribbed, textured, pattered condoms out there we've actually really been enjoying it! It's added a whole new realm to our sex life. I think your SO should give it a chance! My fiance is just happy he's back to having A LOT of sex again, he could care less about the condom

**jessie1234** · 05-19-2011 03:01 PM

awful that they never told us of the full risks... i remember leaving at 17 and being all happy go lucky thinking that nothing will ever happen. at any rate the iud has worked out well.... esp before we wernt married and during my single days. anyway maybe its a good choice for someone but i always want to make sure people are aware of the risks

**Winged_Muse** · 05-19-2011 08:44 PM

I’ve been off the pill for almost two weeks now. Like you, I’m extremely paranoid with getting pregnant so I actually bought the condoms myself. He hates them just as much as I do but with me being the only one working and we don’t live together, a baby wouldn’t be the thing we need right now.

I’ve been taking birth control since December 2008. My first pill, Necon, made me gain weight like crazy. When I started the pill I weighed 170 pounds, by the time I switched this past October, I was a little over 200 pounds and my ideal weight for my height is actually 150. The pill I started on gave me extreme stomach issues, I’d get a stomach ache almost every day. I also got migraines more often than was normal for me. So back in October I switched to a pill called Allese. It took about 4 months before the dizziness set in. I was getting dizzy with those pills and up until 2 weeks ago it was pretty bad.

I’ve seen my doctor, or well, an OB/GYN and we’ve found another pill for me to try. I’m hoping this to is also a lower dosage but if I have issues with this one as well then I’m gonna try the NuvaRing which is another possible birth control you could try. The people I’ve talked to about it say its really good so just another option maybe to look into.

**ren_07** · 05-21-2011 08:05 PM

I do think being off of it now will be the best thing for you since you've had such a negative experience with it! And I'll be the first to say that yeast infections crazily increase on the pill (at least for me and a lot of others).

If you ever feel like you've gotta go back on it, I'd recommend trying something really low dose to lower the side-effects. Ever look into lo loestrin24fe that just came out?