Secrets of the Abyss

Just a note to remember and vent as well...

I am currently having my double plan, and I received a text from him (D)...asking me where we'd hang out. Two places were suggested: starbucks + movie, or his place + movie... I chose his place...

This, I think would be a good measure whether he is agressive or not, whether he is just after sex or really in for the long haul.

This is the make it or break it night. Tonight, I shall also discover if my heart has started to heal faster, because lately, it sort of stopped and couldn't resume.

I still feel the Jerk's presence
I still feel the same old connection even without any contact.

I hope I will get this sorted out soon.
I resent him for being so immatured, selfish, deceitful, and cowardly.

He doesn't know what he wants.
He is not consistent with his goals/plans.
Unless he figures himself out soon
And learns to follow through his goals,
He will never be able to appreciate
The beauty and special opportunity
That life has to offer.

Look at me,
I am God's gift to him,
Yet, he took for granted!

So now, I will not stoop down to his level.
I will give myself a chance
I will not settle for anything less.
I deserve someone who loves me the way I love him.

Again....is it you, Darren?

Oh, btw...NO SEX tonight...no sex until marriage...I can...I will.