Secrets of the Abyss

OK, here goes what happened last night...

There was a bit of fireworks display in the sky last night, as I drove to his place - it was just about 10 mins. away.

I drove slow this time...lol
I got htere, we hugged.
He showed me around his house.
Also showed me the antique chair he is stripping,
Which looks fantastic.

We sat on the couch, quite away from each other.
We talked about our families, friends,
and what we do during weekdays.

We settled to watch a movie
The 40-year old Virgin!
Heck! That was funny...
But, I didn't enjoy it that much
I wonder why.

As the movie started,
I noticed he came closer...closer
Until his arm is wrapped around my shoulder.

I let him be,
Knowing and aware about the boundary
I have set.

We watched and once in a while, would interject into a conversation, and laugh together.

After about 45 mins...his face started to come closer to my cheek...
I looked at him and smiled.

He wondered why...
But I kept smiling,
And looked at the TV screen...once again, focused on the movie
And so did he.

Couple minutes passed, he advanced again,
This time, I let him
Kiss me gently
And I kissed him back...
It was OK...but something inside me is missing something!

We kissed for a few minutes...
and then I pulled away...
I started another conversation instead.
It stayed that way.

He tried and tried to kiss me again,
But all he had is my right cheek to kiss.
That's all I can give.

He is a gentleman,
But he's still A MAN.
He is a Methodist.
and we talked about our teen years being in that congregation...

Like me, he also volunteered for the Red Cross...
So conversations were interesting.
He talked about his past relationships,
I did touch a little of mine...

I told him the good news that
My girl friend is getting married
Maybe nextweek or two...
with the guy who works for an aircraft company
(Which was really quick!)

We enjoyed the rest of the night,
Before I went home, he hugged me tight.

I don't know for sure...
I think, he is a potential,
A BF material...

But, I still feel odd.
I am not ready yet.
Still the Jerk is stuck...
And I am stuck.

I wish I can just sleep
Never to wake up.