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Becoming Independent This is all about my life's saga as I battle the odds of recuperation after marital rape and divorce, and beginning a new promising relationship with a recovering alcoholic.
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The Little Girl in her red dress: A short story (part1)

Posted 10-25-2009 at 09:58 PM by caterpillar79 (Secrets from the Abyss)

Daylight broke, shining through the eyes of this sweet little creature, who doesn't even know where she is. She cannot see vividly, only flashes of white, black, and red embody her vision at this early stage of her life, only responding to the soft coos she hears from the people around her. Smelling her most familiar and heavenly scent of all - her mother!
Ah! It is feeding time - a moment when needs are being sought and are delivered without hesitation, but with much love and care -...
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Working on the shattered pieces left behind

Posted 10-07-2009 at 07:08 PM by caterpillar79 (Secrets from the Abyss)

I have been thinking lately at how my life had turned out. I have been broken a couple of time, on different occasions, with various reasons and situations.

Professionally, I've encountered put downs on a day-to-day basis. I strived hard to enhance my crude skills, for I knew I have the potential all along. On relationships, whether it be platonic or romantic, I have always found myself on the giving end. Why couldn't I take as much as I gave? Was it because how I was raised: it is...
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Blah...nobody to talk to!

Posted 09-13-2009 at 10:53 AM by caterpillar79 (Secrets from the Abyss)

I know...I am a blackbelt in WH Blogging...

This is the way to supplement my self-talk, before I grow totally insane from being by myself.

I don't want to be overbearing to anyone, so whatever I feel and think, I write them down here. This has been my sanctuary in any season of my life. So, welcome to my world...may you find my life amazingly crazy yet worthwhile.

09/12/09

I broke my first board in Tae kwon do in just one kick (step side kick)....
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Finally!

Posted 08-22-2009 at 03:08 PM by caterpillar79 (Secrets from the Abyss)

I was in turmoil a while ago,
Yes, I did an abomination.
A certain deed,
Not typical of me.
A certain act that is off the wall
Mainly illogical and unacceptable.

I battled deep within.
I wrestled against my will,
My mind stopped thinking,
My heart clamored of not beating
At all.

Yet, after pondering
Listening to insightful words
These loving people gave,
I realized it's OK.

Though my moral...
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I miss you...

Posted 08-21-2009 at 09:17 AM by caterpillar79 (Secrets from the Abyss)

I thought I CAN manage
I did for a while
But my spirit is low
and not in-sync.

I did something last night
That surely would break your heart
I did it, because I hate you
I hate ME.

I no longer want to live,
I want to sleep endlessly
Never to wake up.

I feel so empty
I feel all alone
I don't have anybody
To turn to but myself.

I wanted to be patient
I wanted to be caring...
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