Dear Diary

4AM, I heard it ring.
I picked up, answered, not knowing.
I was terrified! 'Twas a man's voice.

No, he's not my husband, I thought!
I listened more and listened well.
Asked who he was.
Said he's Van, I thought it was Ken.
I even thought it was my uncle 'BEN'.

And then, I listened long,
Then told him short,
I'm married, then hung up.
A minute later,'nother 'ring' came up.

"I moved to your area ...

I dreamed 'bout this man when I was young
Didn't realize he'd look like you.
Didn't see it coming 'till it's here.

Glad we made it, dear!
Our journey together
Has legitimately commenced.

Excitedly anticipating every step
Every inch of our adventure
The allure and intoxicating effect
Of spontaneous adventure.

I shall rest my tired soul tonight,
Thinking wishing we're curled up in bed
As one.

...

I have been in this mood since last night. I tried to fight it, but to no avail. I hate it when this episode comes. I wish I can just teleport myself to wherever I want to go.

On the second thought, if I could, where would I go?

To Disneyland where all my dreams come true? well, probably my kiddie dreams - but once I get back home, I realize it's just a fantasy after all.

To SeaWorld? Maybe a good choice for a water person like me. But then, I don't get to ...

I am having this emotional roller coaster,
It could be hormonally induced,
Stress related
Or schizophrenic in nature!

Whatever it is, I feel it
Coming and going
Like waves that wash the shore
Like the tides that would go high or low,

Dependent on the moon's gravity
So does my emotions...
Am I really this crazy?

I drove home yesterday
With a very happy
Content heart.
Knowing that my love is here ...

Well, I have been doing a lot of self-talk today.

I had lunch at PF Chang's as I used to - on my own! I have to do this in order to get out of my domain...But when I drove home, I was nauseous, up to this very moment. I feel lke throwing up....argh!

Oh, I wish I can share this moment with ... (whatever)...venting, venting, venting! This is tough...but I will make it!

I feel weak, can't eat what I want...Always feel like I will throw up...Hand me the sweets, ...