Dear Diary

Sept. 7, 09

I am having abdominal pain on the left side. I am boxing some of my items for the great move...

It comes and goes, for about 5 min. interval.
If there is something that I really worry about is that this might be an ectopic pregnancy and my fallopian tube burst - that I will die.

Oh, well...at least I know, I have loved fully all my life!

To everyone, I take a final bow! lol!

P.S.

I have been meeting with ...

I pray to God to make me strong,
Fill me with His love when things go wrong.
When you are down,
You can hold on,
To me as a friend, your very own.

I pray to God that He'll guide us,
As we begin a new journey
Away from each other
Yet close at heart.
In spirit we are one,
No matter what
The circumstances are.

I pray that He will see us through,
Provide us all what we need, to do
His will...abide in ...

I have been to my OB-GYN for a check - up since I am two months delayed. She tested me and turned out positive...WT? How could this happen?

Ex-BF doesn't know - I don't intend to tell him. I am pregnant, but it might be ectopic. There is a very slim chance of keeping it (I hope I could)...on the other hand, this situation is lethal and painful for me, both emotionally and physically.

I committed a mistake, but it was protected, so ruling out the factors, it zoomed down ...

I fell to the ground,
Feathers shuffled and red,
An arrow in my wing...
You took me in and tended me.

You visited me each day,
Held me gently and cared for me,
"till I recuperated well.

You admired what you found,
Loved it and treasured it
For a while.

When my wings healed,
You set me forth to fly...
I flew.

In my freedom,
I enjoyed seeing the outside world
With a different ...

Why is this turbulent emotion?
Why do I feel this?
Why do I have to be?

Why do I love you ...
When I hate you the most?