Dear Diary

Yes, YOU!
I want you to realize that you made a difference in my life
I know I've told you this before.

We sort of have the connection
And I couldn't deny that fact,
I wonder how this would affect
The way that I would relate
with my future partner
Should the time come
(Oh, will it ever do?)

We once agreed that we'll grow together
And I feel that even we're apart, we still do.
I could still feel the connection, ...

Yes, you!
You seem so nice and true.
Your intentions look genuinely unselfish,
Modest and prudent, you seek my attention.

You are willing to do everything you can,
Offering me relief, joy and abundance.
Ovewhelmingly showering me with care and affection no matter what time of day!

I marvel at how you do it.
I don't even give you anything in return,
Yet you don't fail to give
And give and give more.

Once again, ...

I went out walking at the park we used to go to,
But this time, with an old friend...
Yeah, a guy friend.

We walked and talked, we even played in the swing where we used to be
We revisited the places,
I braved the pain.

It was like a cathartic move,
It was like purging all ...
All these bottled up emotions
That I hid deep within.

We went to a sports bar this night,
I had a glass of white russians -
...

I want to start writing a new chapter
in my life
But how do I start?

A clean slate
A newly sharpened pencil
A clear vision
A steadfast heart
And a wholesome mind.

An unwavering devotion
Unto a goal to improving oneself.
Unto reaching the highest level of maturity
ever possible
A degree that is attainable
By my limitations as a weak vessel.

I stand by its threshold,
Ready to go on... ...

If healing means hating you,
Then I will.

If it means throwing away all the memories that we've built together,
I will.

If it means going out to meet new people,
I will.

If it means working my butt off on Taekwando and imagine kicking you to death, I will.

I shall rise and see your downfall
You shall see how you ungratefully threw away the most precious gem that you once had.

I will be a new stronger person ...