I have often thought my life should be something it is not. I'd fanasize of being single, living on my own and having lots of social outing. I did not have alot of relationships in my younger days, got married at age of 23, and been married ever since. As i get older i find i have ALOT more confidence and self esteem, than i ever did. I find myself thinking of being on my own dating men i would never have thought id be able to due to low self-esteem. Wishing my life were different. Wishing my husband was more outgoing, or more social. , i'd love it if he LIKED people!lol However, i do have an outlet, i have a bf i see twice a month for some social outing and lots of great sex. My sex life at home has withered away to not much. We are somewhat different people, i need to be social he does not. Hubby and i have talked and he allows me to meet my bf for some much needed sex. Is this normal, who knows, does it work? Yes it does. It took me a long long time to come to terms with how my life is going. I have asked myself, is this normal? Is my marriage screwed forever? Will we ever get a sex life together? I found myself getting so upset as my life was not how i thought it SHOULD be. My relationship with my husband is not how i thought it SHOULD be. Soo, i have decided that i have the best of both worlds. I have a fabulous lover, who tends to all my physical needs and someone who treats me as the sexy goddess i am. I also have an amazing husband who loves family life, and who loves me. He is stable, funny, and the best provider ever!! He loves me and our girls. Does having this make me a bad person?? A bad wife?? I used to think so, now however, I am not going to live my life how i think it should be, but how it is!!