Healing

ok this is so insane... my bf's best friend lives with us ..... with us 24 /7 unemployed has been for 6 months. My bf gets me all pumped up to go somewhere this weekend .... and then 10 mins ago just say yeah its ok if buddy comes eh....... and i'm like oh yeah for sure.

The problem is the friend was in the room he did it so I wouldn't voice how I really feel......... make me look like the nasty b*tch the one who always says no.............. whatever get a back bone ya fool. Ya ever wanna get away from someone' heavy energy........... well that is how I feel.

a part of me doesn't even want to go but why spite myself i was looking forward to this all week. don't wanna stick indoors all tomorrow......... I thought it was "us" and we never go anywhere for fun alone............. yeah to run errands and work and yes but not to relax.

I work from home so getting away is suppose to be fun for me.

I know sound like a spoiled brat and I can be i know no one has to tell me this I already know. That is why I have to have this conversation with me self lol

see is I don't even care he could go with his friend big frigin deal...... omg early this week I told him to go to a concert without me.... he said no. I feel sofocated by his emotions, his friends emotions all the time ........... I need a friggin break maybe I need my own vacation.....

I like his friend just fine its about getting a break from the routine I see this guy every friggin day........... He starts job soon so it s all good.