More Miserable Than Ever
Posted 10-09-2009 at 11:06 PM by ThexMrs
I have never... No that's not true. I have almost never felt as low as I do now. My whole world has crashed down around me and I don't even feel like putting the pieces back together.
My boyfriend is... I can't even describe what he is. I'm holding onto him because I have no one else and to me, having him is better than being alone. I don't want to start over with someone new. It's not that I don't like him, I do. He just isn't good enough.
My ex boyfriend said yes when I asked him to marry me and then took it back two days later. No surprise there really. Things with him are so bad now. We aren't getting along. I'm to the point with him that I am being polite because I have to be. It's like people who work in customer service.
I'm back where I was months ago. All I want to do is numb the pain. I know a drug dealer and I was thinking of getting some drugs from him. Cocaine. I also want to start doing pills again and getting drunk. I want to have sex with anyone and everyone.
I just don't care anymore.
My boyfriend is... I can't even describe what he is. I'm holding onto him because I have no one else and to me, having him is better than being alone. I don't want to start over with someone new. It's not that I don't like him, I do. He just isn't good enough.
My ex boyfriend said yes when I asked him to marry me and then took it back two days later. No surprise there really. Things with him are so bad now. We aren't getting along. I'm to the point with him that I am being polite because I have to be. It's like people who work in customer service.
I'm back where I was months ago. All I want to do is numb the pain. I know a drug dealer and I was thinking of getting some drugs from him. Cocaine. I also want to start doing pills again and getting drunk. I want to have sex with anyone and everyone.
I just don't care anymore.
Total Comments 5
Comments
-
u need a big, big hug and words of encouragement..i love you, lindsayPosted 10-10-2009 at 12:06 AM by dr.mansview
-
You can crash or you can rise above it.
I was a mess when my ex broke up with me ... we'd been together for almost 2 years and he was my everything, I spent every waking moment waiting for his emails, hanging on his every word. I crashed, I drank, I had sex all the time (and enjoyed the HECK out of it.) But then I rose above it. I did everything he didn't LET me do. Everything he was stopping me from doing "for my own safety."
And in my whirlwind of messups, I found a great guy who was exactly what I needed. Don't be afraid to mess up a little, but limit yourself. Find a female friend and go with it. You'll help each other out.Posted 10-10-2009 at 11:26 AM by Little 
-
Here's more support for you, Linds.
Be strong, and hang in there. Bars are not good for you. You need a community of wholesome people to nurture you - go find that. Indulge yourself in hobbies that you can nurture, such as photography, writing, cooking, etc. You will make it. Be patient with yourself.Posted 10-10-2009 at 04:35 PM by caterpillar79
-
Don't let yourself just sink lower and lower. There's always a way. Everyone hits points where they feel like all they want is to numb the pain, but it's the pain that makes life real. When you're on drugs, you're not living. You're just high.Posted 10-20-2009 at 11:20 PM by dolphinlefty
-
Trust me, the drugs and liquor just dull the pain Its still there. I have gone that road tooo many times. and all it does is mess up your life.Posted 10-24-2009 at 01:56 AM by KareBare
Total Trackbacks 0
