Wow, if a doc told me to,"suck it up" I'd tell her where to get off. She certainly wouldn't have ever touched my body for another surgery. Why did they take your appendix?
Go to the library, get the Dec 2008 issue of More magazine and read the article on women's health and how docs get comfortable doing certain procedures and don't always keep up with new possibilities.
Dysplasia isn't uncommon and can be caused by a host of things including having sex within a few days of the test. Sounds like they've taken nearly everthing you've got, messed up the muscles holding your bladder and now want to do more. Start working on really educating yourself. Doctors are educated guessers, it's your body, you live in it, no one knows it better than you do really.
I had a uterine ablation, not a big deal, probably not at all the same experience. But wait a couple months and get retested? All that poking and proding could have been enough to produce the dysplasia. Get a third opinion, even a fourth before you get any more surgery.