Hello All-

Im in love with my boyfriend. He has never been the communicating type...However he's never acted this way for a whole week before.

Previous history- his worst flaw is that he's inconsiderate. But at the same time he'll give you the shirt off his back in a heartbeat. My Jr. is so sweet and he really means well but he just doesn't get it! We've talked and argued about "his actions making me feel like he doesn't care" often. When this happens he says "People forget all the good when one bad thing happens" and he says "im sorry you feel that way. We have been dating for like 8 months.

I got a DUI and stared law school all in the same year. He has tried to be my rock as I have been an emotional mess. But for the past week it has been sooooo different. I NEED HELP.

He helped me move into my new apt last thursday and that's the last time I saw him. His brother finished helping me on Friday. Sat was ok. and Sun he didn't call me all day. He works 12 hour shifts so its pretty ormal for us to talk for like 3 minutes b4 he goes to bed. Sun he worked from 11-11pm and he'll sometimes call on his way to work...Sunday he didn't fine. The I realize it's 1am and no call. I called him. we spoke fine. . Monday rolls around and no call. I didn't call him this time.

Monday-no call I was pissed.

Tuesday- he called 4 times but I was mad. So I didn't pick up

Wednesday- he didnt call/ I didn't call.

Thursday- the attorney calls and says is Jr. coming to drop off the money? I need to know a time. So I called him but he didn't pick up. Then I txt him are you gonna go? or should I tell them you wont make it? He txt back I just left there now.
I call the law office and she says I just tried to give Jr. some papers but he said he didn't know IF he was going to see you. So he told me to mail them....Is this ur correct address. As you all may imagine tears filled my eyes and my mouth hit the floor... He broke up with me thru the secretary at the law office.
I called him back to back 2-3 times and finally he picked up and the conversation started off with are you joking.....? and as you may know what happened from there....I definately didn't finish my conversation tho b/c he was with his friend so" he was gonna call me back.. So I text him like 3 or 4 txt with all my thoughts and how could he involve a legal secretary in our relationship like that etc.... so finally I said just pls call me back b4 6 b/c I want to try to learn... please baby just 4 two seconds call me b4 6. He called at 6:23.
Thursday he had off.... I spoke to him at 3 and I had class at 6. He called me 2 times while I was in class. But it was too late. I called him when I got out....and his phone was on silent". It always is so I believe him.... Dont speak to him all of thursday night.

He calls me friday Morning: we spoke for like an hour b4 he went to work... again me talking and him listening.... At this point I dont remember too much about that convo. But I just remember it was ok. I said I love you" b4 the end of the convo. and we were ok.

Friday night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No call. and I only txt him once and said your going to do this again? and he txt me the next morning saturday.... "My phone died".

Saturday yesterday in the morning we spoke for a little while b4 he went into work.... and then last night (sat same day) I woke up startled at 4:15isham with still no phone call from him. However this time his shift was from 3-3am. so when I called him he didn't pick up. I txt him " what the F**ck is it NOW? two min. later I wrote if "you have any respect for me as a woman at all you'll call me Jr. At 4:23 he pick up. And again " I said are u f**cking joking???? and he said I just got home 15 min ago! But he usually calls me as soon as he exits the BUILDING! we got off the phone and he said I'll call u when I get up.

Sunday: TODAY he's off and at 4:30 I txt him hey maybe later u wanna have a late dinner. No txt back. I calle him at 8.... no returned call.... It's 11pm and still NOTHING!

Am I not getting the point? What is happening? I don't know what im doing wrong please tell me!

It sounds like you need to give him space, maybe try to stop getting angry, let him come around, let him know what you want out of it, ask him what he wants...go from there. Getting mad and pushing only seems to be making it worse at this point.

Clippies, I agree with happy on this one, give him space and see how things work out, maybe you guys need to "take a break" so to speak, with the stress of working 12 hour shifts for him and you with law school maybe the stress that the two of you are under is transferring into your relationship. As for the phone calls, just take it in stride, I mean he does need to communicate with you, don't get me wrong but working long shifts like that it's difficult to want to function after working that long....
I wish you luck.
cheers

Sounds like this guy is there for you very much, helping you through things and when he cant, his brother has been.

Sounds also like he as withered_rose has stated, works very long hours and he could be suffering from over load, the last thing he needs is a girlfriend hassling him, so he may choose to just ignore easier.. He needs rest.

Agree with Happy1 and "space"

What I will say next you won't like. But your asking this question:-

So look at this:-

So, he's tried... And he works 12 hrs... and he's not giving you the ATTENTION You want, and so your asking why?


So, he helped you again... Then asked his brother to because he couldn't. He didn't call you for 24hrs, and your panicing.... you want his call... Where is it.... Forget he works 12 hours?


So again, he worked 12 hrs, buggered loss of energy, but your still awake at 1am, waiting for that call, it doesn't happen so instead of going to bed and talking in the morning with him when he's fresh and awake you call him and ask WHY HAVEN'T YOU CALLED? RIght?


Great so he didn't call but he doesn't live with you and he doesn't/ shouldn't have to call you ever day should he? So, you refrained and left him alone but you seathed right?

Yep, right, you were pissed.


So the poor guy having been buggered, rested now calls to say hi and you reject the call cause he missed a day, he tries 4 times but you ignore him, your pissed right?

Right then let's not call him I'll teach him.. But he doesn't call.




By now and this has probably been going on for a while, he's had enough of you acting "possessive" yep said you would not like my "opinion".. And not answering your phone, getting pissed off so now he's saying post the papers.

So now your really made, phone 2, 3 times, text 3, 4 times just what he was experiencing before, "possessiveness" that he can't handle hense why he did what he did.

He cares, he's still communicating but when he could but from the fact that you wrote the time down to a tee 6.23pm... Your still counting when he calls, how often, if , etc... See what I'm saying?

You questions whether or not the phone was really on silent and decide that it always is so he's telling the truth... You don't trust him, your following him around...


No problem, it's a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship that should be built on trust not contact communication so you know where he is or if he still loves you TRUST. Not possessiveness.


I do and i wasn't even there, (smile) you chooed him out, gave him what for, why don't you call me, etc, etc, etc, Your upset, your ranting away and he is LISTENING for 1 HR NOT SPEAKING.


You got your feelings, thoughts off your chest and therefore YOU FELT OK, you told him YOU LOVE HIM and that made YOU feel okay. Imagine, he is at the other end, being told off for not calling, etc, cause everything you are saying is based on this in this thread, he leaves it another day doesn't call Friday.. He spoke to you for an hour, well listened.


There you go point taken do you think? On what you probably was saying for 1 hour whilst he listened.


Startled because he had not called you when he finished work at 3.30am ? So you sent him an abusive text message? Then try emotions on him to get a reply which he did, so then you swear at him? And he has just arrived home from 12 hours work?
So what, he's tired real tired and wants to go home to sleep and not call and frankly you should be sleeping not waking up startled that you didn't get a call and do that.

Don't blame him. Your stalked him, swore at him, used emotions on him, won't accept that he's working hard, long hours, are needy, possessive.

Doubt he'll call you again.

Now on a nice side, obviously he has spent 8 months with you. Obviously he has supported you with DUI, and other things and moving, obviously he cares about you but OBVIOUSLY, he can't stand the CONTROL of his comings and goings, time slots you put him into and expectations.

And the thing is if you don't realise that your doing this, you will do it to the next partner and he will walk, and the one after, and the one after that.

You need to :-

1. Learn to trust your partner, and not expect daily on the dot phone calls from the moment they finish work, so that you get your pleasure, hello babe.

2. You need to be understanding that 12hr shifts is a long time, and people get warn out so they can't take this sort of behaviour on-going they choose to start to ignore it... They are tired.

3. You need to learn to communicate and understand that your not the only one in a relationship and missing a day is ok, so is getting 45 minutes late and calling you.

4. You need to believe in yourself, and have good self esteme sounds like you panic that you need attention and to know where they are the moment they finish work.

You need to realise all of this and I hope by the way that I have pointed it out that you do..

This guy has spent a lot of time with you and given all he can, as he can... Men don't have emotions like women, they can't say I love you every day and want to call you ever time they walk away from work, they are not like us.

Don't take any of this as an insult, as it's not, I am merely answering your question WHY?

Have a real deep look at what you wrote right down to 6.23....

CW

"Am I not getting the point? What is happening? I don't know what im doing wrong please tell me! "

Hi Clippies1437,

I know you are not gonna like this, but according to me you are indeed not getting the point. I am afraid the point being that your BF needs space, most probably wants out of the relation but is to much of a nice guy to tell you upfront.

My advice would be to talk to him once more and tell him that "you" feel you are not getting enough attention and he is not interested anymore and that you have decided you will leave it all up to him. Meaning you want contact him anymore : no texts, no phones no nothing. Then see what happens. My guess is you will never hear from him again, but if you do I will be most happy to admit I was wrong.

Can you bring yourself to do that?

Sorry to sound so negative

I agree with 99% of what Muskitos said.

All except for the part where he's "too much of a nice guy to tell you upfront". To me that is taking the easy way out. This means he isn't much of a man. If he wants out, he should go to her and tell her to her face. He should also be honest and tell her why. Just my 2 cents.

CLIPPIES...I don't think you did anything "wrong" to get you into this position. People get together and break up all the time. Sometimes they get together or the right reasons and sometimes they get together for the wrong reasons. The same can be said for break ups. Sometimes they happen for the right reasons and sometimes they happen for the wrong reasons.

I do agree with the others here that he is breaking up wit