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Thread: Is it ok for my girlfriend to have guy friends?

  1. #1
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    Default Is it ok for my girlfriend to have guy friends?


    hello ive been with my gf for about 1 year now and she gets mad cause im not letting her go out with her friends? well the reason why is cause majority of her friends are guys. also am i being controlling if i got to know where she is at not at all times but also i want to know how her day goes.ive mean im at my base and majority of the times i get bored all day that all i can talk about is her and how her day went. i mean i just got back from a 15 month deployment from iraq all i need is some advice and to let me know if im doing something wrong. cause i know myself i have a problem but i want to know others womans opinion. well she hasnt called me in about 3 to 4 days should i just let it be? any advice is appreciated thanks

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    Administrator Array Little's Avatar
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    1. Yes, you're being controlling. She needs to have her friends.
    2. Adjusting to having your boyfriend back in your life after a deployment is rough, arguably just as rough as it is for you coming home from a deployment.
    3. Have you asked her straight-out if she's cheated on you? Because not wanting to talk about what she's done is kind of shady. Of course, keeping her from hanging out with her guy friends is NOT going to stop a girl from cheating. In fact, it'll probably make her want to hang out with them more, and resent you more.

    This is a very provocative post, and I'm leaning towards the opinion that it's been posted by a troll. Especially considering your last post.
    Oh, and the fact that it's called a post, not a base, soldier. Have you shared your thoughts with the chaplain? Maybe he can help you more than we could.

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    Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Array Uneeklyme's Avatar
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    She needs her friends. Its controlling to tell her who she can and cant have as friends. However, if she does not allow you to know who her friends are and is of the opinion that you dont have the right to know where she is going or who she is with then there is good reason for you to be suspicios. Does she give you the option to hang out with her and her friends? Does she talk to you about her friends? Really, if they are just friends then whats the problem with you knowing who they are and where they are taking your girlfriend. On the other hand, if she has cut you out of that part of her life then I would say she is hiding something and you have bigger issues than who her friends are and where she is at.

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    Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Array Livelaughlove's Avatar
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    The question you have to ask is

    Why are you uncomfortable with her having guy friends?

    Some things you want to pay attention to
    • Your protecting her because you think these men can offer her something you can't
    • Your trying to protect your investment. So you act jealous and controlling to limit outside threats
    • If you need to know where she is at all times. What you are subconsciously doing is making sure she is not with someone else.
    • There is something called a double bind. You may not be really to interested in her day however what you are trying to find is maybe catch her in a lie. More insecurity and lack of trust.
    You make a common mistake that most men make. That is that you are acting like a Wussy. My intention is not to offend but to enlighten.

    Issues of your behavior:
    • Too invested
    • Too controlling
    • Too insecure
    • Most importantly you weren't acting like a man who was in control!
    Women have enough issues in there life they dont need there BF to add to them. You should be her security blanket not the fire.

    I had similar issues, go to google and look up "David DeAngelo news bags." it will help you beyond belief.

    You will not get her back by calling her constantly. Give her some space. Let her find out that you moved on. Do not tell her!

    The best way to get her back is to not try to get her back, but do things that she would want in her life.

    Good luck.

    Hope this helps

    Live laugh and love
    Nice guys don't finish last, weak guys finish last.

  5. #5
    Junior Member Array LOWERC1's Avatar
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    Thumbs up Guy Friends

    Yes. If you trust her let her be. Of course, she should not spend more time with them than you. Given enough rope anyone up to no good will hang themselves. Good luck.

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    Junior Member Array Rapid'87's Avatar
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    LiveLifeAndLaugh said it already.

    In the end, the more you hold her back the more likely she is to do the very thing you are trying to prevent and that is her cheating on you. Don't let it happen bro.

    Let her hang with whoever she wants, if she turns out to cheat on you (which if it's going to happen, will happen no matter if she sees her friends or not) then you know that she isn't the one for you.

    Though this is all a hypothetical situation. Everyone needs some space from their BF/GF... So let her. Infact, the more space you give her, the more she will be wanting to be around you. Reverse psychology is a non-intuitive thing.
    Rapid


    Known by all for his rugged good looks, irresistable charm and GREATEST of all... His incredible MODESTY

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    May 2008 "Poster of the Month" Array anonymouswhitefemale's Avatar
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    Women aren't to be outside of the kitchen let alone meeting other males!

    I suggest brading her with the iron to teach her a lesson.

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    Administrator Array Little's Avatar
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    Anon, you forgot the part where you take away her shoes because she's supposed to be BAREFOOT in the kitchen too.
    And he's a man; he shouldn't have to know how to use an iron!

  9. #9
    May 2008 "Poster of the Month" Array anonymouswhitefemale's Avatar
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    Maybe 'bind' her feet so she can stand closer to the sink too.

    And men don't need to know how to use an iron, you just creep up on her while she's doing her manditory womanly duty, take the iron off her and TTTSSSSSSSSSS! Punishment exacted. And if the police find the marks you can just say she's really clumsy with her chores.

  10. #10
    Administrator Array Little's Avatar
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    You poor man, you shouldn't even have to know the function of an iron to realize it's hot. What horrors you have endured in your short life!
    Hee hee, you should get an apron and try to give it as a gift to the next girl you date. It would be hilarious.
    ...
    To me

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