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Thread: Is it worth it to engage in cougar dating

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    Junior Member cindy06rich is on a distinguished road
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    Question Is it worth it to engage in cougar dating

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    I am a 39 year old divorced mother of two. I know I have a lot to offer in a relationship (caring, intelligent, professional job, own home, feisty personality, physically very fit and attractive). However, my feelings of inadequacy stem from childhood and therefore, I find it hard to start a relationship even though I have a lot of dates and an active sex life. As I am young at heart I am drawn to younger men who do not have children. I try to be realistic about this fact and so assume that these men will not want a serious relationship with me - thus I behave as if I do not want a serious relationship with them. I do not want to get hurt. I have tried dating older more serious men who already have children but they fall in love with me and my feelings towards them are not reciprocated. I feel more at home with younger rebellious types as I am a rebellious type myself. I feel as if I am going nowhere and now feel lonely and used. If you have any advice for helping me get out of this rut I would trully appreciate it. Now I registered a personal profile on Cougarkiss.com, do you think It is a good place for me?

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    Silver Contributor 100+ Posts lovemyself1 is on a distinguished road lovemyself1's Avatar
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    i say try to find the 30 or 40 something guy that has a personality like yours. if you go for too young of a guy then you will feel used. you need a mature, sexy, young-at-heart man. they might be hard to find, but keep your hopes up. good things happen to those who wait.

    good luck
    Smile...it's not so bad.

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    TEAM ADMIN CHANDLERS WISH is on a distinguished road CHANDLERS WISH's Avatar
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    i would say joining a "cougar dating site" thought about it young at heart and want ... anyways... that is what they are after? Someone hot who thinks that they can score... don't do it delete now.

    You obviously need someone younger who can excite you and be adventurous, be confident, and make your mark ever where you go, he / plenty of he's will show their eagerness back, just do it right to not end up with a one night stand, make them hunger after you.

    You can make a man want you buy showing your intentions but not doing he will hunger more and you can have your dream...

    Not sharing any more than that.

    CW
    Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
    It doesn't happen over night
    if truth were to be told.

    Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
    you must believe!

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    May 2008 "Poster of the Month" anonymouswhitefemale is on a distinguished road anonymouswhitefemale's Avatar
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    I, as a man of 23, could see myself being in some sort of relationship with a woman up to... 35. As long as they were good looking of course.

    However, that relationship would likely be of a different slant than your normal relationship. It would hold no possibility of a serious future, it would be a meeting of two people, which would likely be fun, but would ultimately be of a lower priority than finding that one.

    I mean, a relationship with that age gap could never really work out (for me), in that by the time the woman's biological clock was kicking her up the bum I'd still be a young man with no intention of chaining myself into a family.

    For guys the attraction of talking to a women and to actually be interested in what she has to say, and to be with someone who's skilled at rolling around is quite strong. However that very banal naivity we'd be interested in escaping is actually one of the strongest attractions...

    I think it's a recipe for failure, to be honest, if you are planning on taking it seriously. That said, I'm sure it has worked for some people.

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    Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Livelaughlove is on a distinguished road Livelaughlove's Avatar
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    I typically date women with a more mature personality because I cant stand women that are not confident in themselves. Constantly making plans to appease others, while simultaneously hindering her self in one way or another.

    One of the things I've learned is that older women want a man that is extremely sure of himself. I believe that cougars haven't found a man who's man enough yet, they're not into the young mentality but they want a younger man, so I just act like I don't have drama, don't care about drama, don't need the relationship, always give them a tough time while letting them win at small things.

    Works for me


    Hope this helps
    Live laugh and love
    Nice guys don't finish last, weak guys finish last.

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    TEAM ADMIN CHANDLERS WISH is on a distinguished road CHANDLERS WISH's Avatar
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    Honestly,

    Younger guys may not necessarily be your answer, rather young at heart.

    I think the above responses are exact scenarios of the main stream of men and how they percieve things will be.

    I understand you probably don't look your age and certainly don't want to go for country drives, so a man 45 sounds scary as.

    Just be open, he may be 4 years younger than you, or 2 years older than you, bottom line, is your looking for a "fun" and "youthful" mind, more so and too young, well it would be exciting but if you "fall" then you'll be upset when it ends and your 42, older yet again..

    If you want a serious relationship then as I said, be open and you'll know if they captivate you, all young guys can talk the talk but can they walk the walk? In all aspects of your needs, not just sexually.

    CW
    Do we not realise that in order to find a soul
    It doesn't happen over night
    if truth were to be told.

    Like everything in life that's hard to achieve
    you must believe!

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    N01
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    I had to read your post a few times over, because I wasn't really sure I understood what it is you want or are looking for.

    do you?

    it kinda seems like you want a real relationship but also don't. you get scared off when one comes down the road (maybe because it's only older guys) and won't try to have one with the younger guys because you are afraid of getting hurt.

    just how rebellious are you looking for anyway? will that type of person really lead to a stable relationship, one that is good for the 2 of you as well as your kids?

    I guess you have to ask yourself what it is you really want right now.

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    March 2008 "Poster of the Month" rcoreyus is on a distinguished road
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    I agree with chandlers wish, and physical age isn't what is important. There are lots of men in their 40s and older who are still very active, and who still enjoy things normall associated with youth.

    A particular place to look is men in high tech industry (really). There is a group that has the time and money to stay active, and to stay in touch with younger people. I know men my age (mid 40s) who go mountain biking, sailing, rock climbing, race motorcycles, and engage in..er..unconventional sexual practices (though not all at the same time <G>)

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