All of a sudden, Girlfriend doesn't want to have sex??

**Syylv** · 11-04-2008 09:21 AM

Well I talked to her about how she only hugs me and isn't as close to me as before, and she just gives me a "Is this a physical or mental relationship?" I told her that it is mental.. its just i miss the physical that i had with her.. like the physical to mental ratio is like 1:5 when it use to be 1:1

When she first moved to college which was a little over a month ago, she told her friend that she isn't really into sex anymore, and thinks its disgusting, but she never talked about it with me.

Shes been under a lot of stress with the sorority and her school work and hasn't been getting a lot of sleep... im doing one of her homeworks because im stuck doing it only because she needs the book if i refuse to do it, and i have it, she can't come back just to pick it up. I wish i could just start ignoring her, but eventually ill have to do that homework for her, if i don't do it, shell have her friend do it, she told me that...

So im just a little stuck here.. i know i have to wait, and "time will tell" i just hate waiting >.<

**Livelaughlove** · 11-04-2008 09:53 AM

Originally Posted by Syylv

Shes been under a lot of stress with the sorority and her school work and hasn't been getting a lot of sleep... im doing one of her homeworks because im stuck doing it only because she needs the book if i refuse to do it, and i have it, she can't come back just to pick it up. I wish i could just start ignoring her, but eventually ill have to do that homework for her, if i don't do it, shell have her friend do it, she told me that...

So im just a little stuck here.. i know i have to wait, and "time will tell" i just hate waiting >.<

Why you trying to rationalize what she is doing? Give her the book and let her do her own homework?

Your not stuck doing anything...Is your life being threatened? If not then your choosing to do her homework as an attempt to show her that you care for her.

The fact that she said "If you don't do it then my friend will" is an obvious sign that she is using you. What this translates to is

"You might as well do my homework my little slave, because if you dont then ill have someone else do it therefore i dont need you"

Its clear manipulation

Listen man, your constantly speaking from a position of weakness

"You wish you could start ignoring her" What makes you think you dont have the power? Please answer this!

You want to know what i think....

I think your afraid of loosing her because you dont have any other women in your life. If you loose her then you have this fear that your going to be alone for the rest of your life.

Trust me man all men go through this. Some women do too, thats why some people remain together even after it is clearly not working.

"Waiting for something".... Weak people wait for things to happen, guess what they never reach there goals..

Create your own success and happiness.

You need to take responsibility for your actions

1. Taking responsibility means being aware of payoffs that keep you "STUCK".

Payoffs explain why we choose to perpetuate what we don't want in our lives. Your using memories of you and her as an access to happiness. Let me give you some news, get over it... It happened in the past

2.Taking responsibility means figuring out what you want in life and acting on it. Set your goals-Then go out and work toward them.

3. Taking responsibility means being aware of the multitude of choices you have in any given situation

TAKE CONTROL OF YOURSELF AND YOUR LIFE.

Good luck

I wish you the best.

Live laugh and love

**Livelaughlove** · 11-04-2008 10:05 AM

LOOK AT MY SIGNATURE!

I was in your postion before, I let women manipulate me too. It wasn't there fault it was mine because i didn't have the power to set boundries.

Two years later, I'm bringing dates on dates. Guess what we all have fun.

There is a man inside of you that all women will be proud to get to know. Learn to be that man.

Follow my advice because it is the truth.

Good luck

Live laugh and love

**Aithneu** · 11-08-2008 10:47 PM

She sounds selfish and immature. I want to call her a name..but anyways mister she knows as well as you do that physical aspects of a relationship are very important to establish that your relationship is healthy. So if she is trying to play it off like everything is okay it's probably bc she's trying to rationalize to herself whether or not to stay with you or someone else.

Once you graduate HS you'll see how much older you feel and how much younger the HS kids all look. I'm sure her sorority friends are pressuring her to be free of you, and maybe she's keeping you around so she has help with the homework.

**Syylv** · 11-10-2008 12:06 AM

Originally Posted by Aithneu

She sounds selfish and immature. I want to call her a name..but anyways mister she knows as well as you do that physical aspects of a relationship are very important to establish that your relationship is healthy. So if she is trying to play it off like everything is okay it's probably bc she's trying to rationalize to herself whether or not to stay with you or someone else.

Once you graduate HS you'll see how much older you feel and how much younger the HS kids all look. I'm sure her sorority friends are pressuring her to be free of you, and maybe she's keeping you around so she has help with the homework.

ya, and i am almost ... ALMOST done with this girl... this is the 3rd time she has bailed on me, giving excuses why i can't come over.... to her appartment.. and shes giving very sketchy excuses...

She goes to NorCal for some other branch in the sorority to meet them. I didn't call her at all yesterday, i said watsup today and she tells me shes on her way back, so i ask if the plan of me going to her place is still up for 2moro, she says, "No, I have a meeting tomoro night [Monday] but i might go back on tues [to her older house (mom) closer to me]." i said, "... k" and she says "Im sorry, ill call you later and tell you about what happened with the sorority today, it was bad, we [as in the pledging girls] might get yelled at on Wednesday, so i really need to go home tues.

Look at what i have bolded. She says shell get yelled at Wed, but not Mon... It took me about 3 hours to click and realize that.. She knows I want to see her. So shell come back Tues and make me do her homework, usual routine... Well... plans have changed, she bailed on me for a 3rd time, now its my turn... I'm trying as hard as i can to show "Active Disinterest"

I mean, 3rd time... comon... every time she changes the plan, i lose interest in her, and im going to ask one more time, and this will be after her pledging, and this is if were still going out, and if she says no, then I am out. I don't have time to deal with her BS nor am I having anymore patience...

**OGFL** · 11-10-2008 05:18 PM

dude i would dump now period

it doesnt take a rocket scientist to see that she is using you( and wants nothing else from u).

**Aithneu** · 11-13-2008 04:43 PM

Originally Posted by Syylv

I mean, 3rd time... comon... every time she changes the plan, i lose interest in her, and im going to ask one more time, and this will be after her pledging, and this is if were still going out, and if she says no, then I am out. I don't have time to deal with her BS nor am I having anymore patience...

Okay this is the hard part love. First of all, make sure you do this in person! Even if it means you have to wait for a while. You need to put all your cards on the table. I know how this betch is going to work it- she'll figure out what you're up to and want to dump you first. When/if she does make her feel like it's her fault (which it is!)

You need to tell her all of it, including how she used you for homework, she didn't have the common decency to dump you instead of leading you along behind her, and especially that she's a liar. Ask her what she would think if you kept disapearing, making excuses not to kick it etc. The entire point of this is to make a clean break but for her to learn that it isn't okay to treat people like that- especially people that care. You don't want to lose this battle!

**JWB_pof** · 11-14-2008 10:01 AM

not even going to read all the responces.
this tells me............... you are now a friend and not boyfriend.
sure their are fases and such, but you are in the friend zone now. she has intrest elsewhere.
you do not just stop unless there is a reason, and she wont tell you it is someone else, unless she has class and dignity for you and her.

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 11-14-2008 04:32 PM

she just gives me a "Is this a physical or mental relationship?"

She hasn't the guts to tell you that "it's a mental relationship now, she doesn't want physical anymore"

Frankly, DON'T DO HER HOMEWORK , she is using you now in my opinion.

CW

**mvaldez** · 11-15-2008 12:03 AM

Originally Posted by JWB_pof

not even going to read all the responces.
this tells me............... you are now a friend and not boyfriend.
sure their are fases and such, but you are in the friend zone now. she has intrest elsewhere.
you do not just stop unless there is a reason, and she wont tell you it is someone else, unless she has class and dignity for you and her.

I have to agree here, I think you are now in the friend zone and she might be afraid to tell you that. I have to admit I'm in your gf's position

I don't like my bf's kisses, hugs or sex

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