Keeping in contact with ex's?

**Smiles302** · 12-30-2008, 04:58 PM

A friend of mine's ex keeps texting her, asking her would she like kinky stuff done or does she wanna go places with him, and that type of thing...

I keep telling her to stop texting him back.

She has a boyfriend. Who is huge compared to the ex. She hasn't told the boyfriend about what the ex has been saying to her.

I told her that I thought she should tell him, incase he found out about it later and got paronoid about why she didn't tell him in the first place...

She said she didn't want to tell him incase he attacked her ex. Literally.

I said there was no point in protecting the ex. (I personnally don't think her boyfriend would be stupid enough to actually attack the guy.. I could see him yelling at the guy and scaring him off or something along those lines... But I don't know the guy as well as she does)

If you were in her situation, what would you do?

N01 · 12-30-2008, 05:14 PM

that depends on whether or not she really doesnt like her ex texting her like that.

if she likes it, then she shouldn't tell you about it anymore and make sure she locks her phone so her current BF doesnt see it.

if she doesnt like it, then she should tell her ex to stop doing it or she will either forward his texts to his parents and current GF, or will get a restraining order against him, or both.

**Smiles302** · 12-30-2008, 05:18 PM

I think she likes the attention. BUT, this ex was awful to her, like more than your average awful boyfriend.
He hasn't got a girlfriend at the moment. As far as I can tell he is sleeping with about 6 different women.
Can you get a restraining order that easily?

N01 · 12-30-2008, 05:38 PM

it kinda depends on the state and exactly what he's been saying in the texts. some states call them a peace order instead of a restraining order.

always best to start with telling the person to stop it before doing anything else. give them a chance to see the error of their ways...

BUT, if she's liking the attention... have you asked her if she's bothered by it? if she's texting him back she either wants to have some kind of relationship with him, or just plain old doesnt understand shes sending him the message that she wants this to continue.

Maybe she does want this. only way you are gonna know is if you ask her.

**Smiles302** · 12-30-2008, 05:44 PM

She says she doesn't want anything to do with him and tells me she really tries to not text back.
Personnally I don't believe her. I think she wants my attention; me listening to her complain about this guy wanting her. And his attention; her thinking he wants her.

N01 · 12-30-2008, 05:59 PM

oh thats too funny! if she "really tries to not text back" and then does text back, she wants to text back!!!

you are right, she's loving the attention from him and you.

maybe you should consider telling her what you think.

**Smiles302** · 12-30-2008, 06:15 PM

yeah maybe I should.

The next time she mentions this guy, I will!!

Thanks for your help

12-30-2008, 04:58 PM	#1
Smiles302 VIP Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 35	Keeping in contact with ex's? A friend of mine's ex keeps texting her, asking her would she like kinky stuff done or does she wanna go places with him, and that type of thing... I keep telling her to stop texting him back. She has a boyfriend. Who is huge compared to the ex. She hasn't told the boyfriend about what the ex has been saying to her. I told her that I thought she should tell him, incase he found out about it later and got paronoid about why she didn't tell him in the first place... She said she didn't want to tell him incase he attacked her ex. Literally. I said there was no point in protecting the ex. (I personnally don't think her boyfriend would be stupid enough to actually attack the guy.. I could see him yelling at the guy and scaring him off or something along those lines... But I don't know the guy as well as she does) If you were in her situation, what would you do?

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12-30-2008, 05:14 PM	#2
N01 Banned from WH Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 809	that depends on whether or not she really doesnt like her ex texting her like that. if she likes it, then she shouldn't tell you about it anymore and make sure she locks her phone so her current BF doesnt see it. if she doesnt like it, then she should tell her ex to stop doing it or she will either forward his texts to his parents and current GF, or will get a restraining order against him, or both.

12-30-2008, 05:18 PM	#3
Smiles302 VIP Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 35	I think she likes the attention. BUT, this ex was awful to her, like more than your average awful boyfriend. He hasn't got a girlfriend at the moment. As far as I can tell he is sleeping with about 6 different women. Can you get a restraining order that easily?

12-30-2008, 05:38 PM	#4
N01 Banned from WH Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 809	it kinda depends on the state and exactly what he's been saying in the texts. some states call them a peace order instead of a restraining order. always best to start with telling the person to stop it before doing anything else. give them a chance to see the error of their ways... BUT, if she's liking the attention... have you asked her if she's bothered by it? if she's texting him back she either wants to have some kind of relationship with him, or just plain old doesnt understand shes sending him the message that she wants this to continue. Maybe she does want this. only way you are gonna know is if you ask her.

12-30-2008, 05:44 PM	#5
Smiles302 VIP Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 35	She says she doesn't want anything to do with him and tells me she really tries to not text back. Personnally I don't believe her. I think she wants my attention; me listening to her complain about this guy wanting her. And his attention; her thinking he wants her.

12-30-2008, 05:59 PM	#6
N01 Banned from WH Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 809	oh thats too funny! if she "really tries to not text back" and then does text back, she wants to text back!!! you are right, she's loving the attention from him and you. maybe you should consider telling her what you think.

12-30-2008, 06:15 PM	#7
Smiles302 VIP Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 35	yeah maybe I should. The next time she mentions this guy, I will!! Thanks for your help