Thread: How long to wait till he pops the question?

it does make sence but this is hard for us to do as we are Christian and we are sapose to wait till after we are married to even think bout moving in together but we decided to move in beforehand it took a long time to come to this decision but i am just feeling insicure as maybe he is not asking me as soon as i hoped cuz i dont want him to leave me.
GodsAngelBaby

you are both very young still (Ur 24 and he's 28 I think) and there's no need to rush it. but you should have a good idea if the relationship is going in that direction or not.

how about just sitting down and asking him straight out where this is going and where he sees you two in 5 years?

Originally Posted by GodsAngelbaby

Hello all i wanted to ask a question to all the girls out there.
my b/f and i have been in a very very serious and commited relationship for
3 years now we both want to get married and have a family and all that we talk about it a lot but he never goes any further than talking. I want him to ask me to marry him but i dont want to push him or make him mad. how long should i wait what should i do or say? Maybe i should just relax?
~GodsAngelBaby

I think it's time to be direct with him.After all,you plan to marry this man.Communication is the key element in any relationship,you should be able to come to each other about any issue. Ask him is there a reason why it(marriage plans) doesn't go any further than the conversation. If that's what the both of you want, then there should be a reason of him getting mad about you bringing it up!

My minister (I think we can assume his christian credentials are way 'up there') advocated living together 30 years ago and caused a scandal....but his reasoning was the divorce rate would be much lower if people did live together before marriage. I agree, I didn't move in with my husband until we came back from our honeymoon and since he's no longer my husband I would have to say I can back that up.

However, my little cousin has just moved back to her parents house after 5 years of living with her bf - waiting for him to pop the question. She's hoping that moving out will light a fire under him. As she puts in, why should he buy the cow when he gets the milk for free. So don't let him get too cosy with a live in relationship make it clear that you expect more than that.

Originally Posted by GodsAngelbaby

it does make sence but this is hard for us to do as we are Christian and we are sapose to wait till after we are married to even think bout moving in together but we decided to move in beforehand it took a long time to come to this decision but i am just feeling insicure as maybe he is not asking me as soon as i hoped cuz i dont want him to leave me.
GodsAngelBaby

You are both Christian and I will tell you, what you prob. already know in your hearts, if you wait and do things the way that the Lord wants you to, then you will be blessed.

My husband and I were younger than you when we met, became friends and then started dating. I wasn't really walking with the Lord then, although I've been a Christian since a young child. He was raised Catholic, but never took it too seriously and always went to church with me (non-denominational).
After living together a short time, I started feeling very guilty, as I knew better. He was still in school and working nights and I wanted to see him save his money instead of having the responsibility of sharing expenses with me so much. He hesitantly went back to his parents home, but he knew it was the right thing to do and we both wanted to "do this" dating, getting married thing, the right way.

Money is a HUGE issue for most men and I will tell you that if you have a good man, then he most likely wants to be the sole breadwinner or wants to be making more money than you so that he feels like a man in that he can take care of you both! If you read the Bible, or speak to a pastor, I know you will find where it reads how men are to hunt and women are to nurture. Men feel love/valued when they are respected and women feel loved/valued when they are shown love or when men are in tune to their emotions.

If anything, I would ask your BF what HE wants to do and what HE feels is right. See things through his perspective. The Lord will reveal His plan for you, only after you stop trying to control everything.

With us, we lived separately, my husband desired to be baptized and accept JC into his heart. Although we talked about marriage in the near future, he surprised me with a proposal when he had enough money to pay for the ring. I had no idea he was even doing this. From there, we both spoke to one of our pastors about the next steps and signed up for pre-marital classes, we saved our money, as we wanted to pay for our wedding with cash, no credit. We had a 2 year engagement and when our wedding day came (we had a small wedding of less than 100 people) it was beautiful, it was paid for - by us and we both see how the Lord has blessed our lives together because we were patient, and because we listened to Him. Because we are continually faithful to Him we see how He continues to bless us. I'm not going to pretend life is perfect, but it's so important to pray and remain faithful.

I really hope that this has helped you in some capacity - take care!