16 year old, dating, sleeping together?

YourMyStar<3 · 01-12-2009, 07:42 AM

Hey, im new to this but I just wanted you guys opinion on my problem here and to see if you have any suggestions to make it easier for me.
Its a long story but I will make it as short as possible.

Im a 16 year old girl who moved from the UK to New Zealand 2 years ago and ive got a friend of mine coming over in September/October 09. We have been friends since we were 8 years old which is a pretty long time. But we have both decided that we really like eachother more than mates and this is why hes coming over. My parents know we like eachother and that he is coming over and they are fine with him living with us until he finds his feet but, I want him to be able to sleep in my bed beside me. I dont plan on doing anything more than sleep beside eachother, I just want to wake up next to him each morning. What do you guys think? Im asking for a parents point of view, how would you feel if your 16 year old daughter and her boyfriend were to share a bed?
If you think that it is fine and accept the idea then do you have any tips or advice on how I could bring this up with my parents.

Also, before he comes over to New Zealand, I am going back home to the UK for family reasons and therefore we will be able to see how things go between us before he comes to New Zealand and my parents will get to meet him etc. Im just really counting on this relationship to work because ive had a number of bad ones in the past. He really makes me happy and I have fallen in love with him. We are constantly on the phone to eachother, texting and online chatting.

Thankyou for your time and I really do hope that one of you can help me out, whether you think its a good idea or a bad idea, I would like to know. =]

**sourpuss** · 01-12-2009, 08:27 AM

I wouldn't allow it if I were your mother. But then again, I wouldn't let him come live in my home either. Aren't you both still in high school?

YourMyStar<3 · 01-12-2009, 08:32 AM

I am still in high school but he isnt. He is only one month older than me.
I understand where you are coming from in not letting him live in your home and only reason my parents are letting him is only until he finds his feet. He is going to do an apprenticeship for a couple of years while he is over here. His parents and my parents are both friends and have known eachother since me and him met. My parents are sort of looking after him in a way just until he finds his feet if you know what I mean.

**Hopeless Dork** · 01-12-2009, 01:34 PM

If your parents are like most, this - even if they caved in and allowed it - would make them so very uncomfortable. You are their "baby" and you will be so even when you are 35. But coming home to visit with a boyfriend or husband for a week and sharing a bed is something they could rationalize if you were an adult and in a committed relationship. Being that you are still in high school it would be a lot harder for them to rationalize your desire to be held when you wake up.

Wait for it. If you want that experience with him you will have it. It just doesn't have to be now , and in your parents home. I think asking them such a thing quite possibly would make them uncomfortable even having him in the house, or leaving the two of you alone together. It will likely make them re-think any trust they had that this would be a safe decision.

You are looking, I am sure, for someone to tell you that if you were their daughter they would say sure that's fine and giving you the words to say that would make it allright.

I don't have a daughter, but I am one. Respect them, why get them worried and upset for this and likely make your new living arrangement more uncomfortable for them after they say no to this very unreasonable request. I know this isn't what you wanted to hear. And of course I don't know your parents, but for the typical household this wouldn't come close to flying.

N01 · 01-14-2009, 01:43 AM

I'd have a big prob with my 16 y/o daughter sleeping on the same floor as a boy who isnt family, forget about in the same bed. Once 18 y/o comes, thats a little different.

not that it still wouldn't bother me!

similar question was asked awhile ago. you may want to look at

http://www.womens-health.com/boards/...ping-over.html

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 01-14-2009, 01:58 AM

I think that your parents are being very generous and loving to you..

Don't tarnish it by saying and I want.

You are their "little girl" and besides, being in the same house? That's special, it gives you both time to get to know each other....

Don't try to ride against the waves, just go along the surf....

I am not a parent, but I agree with the posters above and plus you are not giving your parents credit for what they are doing for you... They have actually done something to help you "develop" this relationship..... think about what they are doing, you need to respect that and them.

CW

**damd** · 01-15-2009, 01:00 AM

Ya sounds great, 16 sleeping next to someone (in the same bed) who you look at as more than just mates. Don't plan on doing anything more than just sleeping so you could just wake up next to him....

What do you think he is going to be thinking about the whole time....?
Gosh it's great just lying here next to more than mates person at such a close proximatey that nothing could possibly ever happen....

I also think that you should just be happy with the fact that your parents are allowing this young man to live with you for a short while.

And if you and this young man wish to have sex, do it a place where you can be comfortable that dad is not going to get wind and have to explain to his friend why he had to kill there son.

**WildChild** · 01-17-2009, 08:02 AM

Doesn't matter what you think you want. Or what you think would happen. There's no way you are just going to just sleep beside each other - not realistic. Your parents will know that even if you don't. You are under their roof and have to follow their rules. My guess is if you push this, they'll either cancel or find some freinds who have sons for your freind to stay with.

bellalovesyah · 03-09-2009, 06:52 PM

i know exactily what you mean i'm almost 15 and i've been dating the same guy for 13 months now and i absolutly love him to death i know what and how you feel it got to the point that i thought that i was ready to do it but i wasnt and we both knew it and where able to go back to just falling asleep in eachothers arms we dont live together but i wish we did i feel that if you really like some one that you can sleep in the same bed with them with out doing it

**echoskybound** · 03-09-2009, 10:28 PM

There are parents out there who can tolerate a lot, but you don't want to push it. My parents know for a fact that my boyfriend and I have been sleeping together for the past two years in college. We don't live together, but when my mom went with me to buy new furniture, she discouraged me from getting a twin bed and said, "A twin bed isn't going to be comfortable for you and Ben, why not get a full bed?"

However, it's much different when we stay at my parent's house. He sleeps downstairs on the couch while I'm upstairs in my own bed. It's really just respectful, because it takes it to a whole different level when you're sleeping together in their house. I'm no parent, but even the idea of my highschool sister sleeping with guys grosses me out.

01-12-2009, 07:42 AM	#1
YourMyStar<3 Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: New Zealand Posts: 4	16 year old, dating, sleeping together? Hey, im new to this but I just wanted you guys opinion on my problem here and to see if you have any suggestions to make it easier for me. Its a long story but I will make it as short as possible. Im a 16 year old girl who moved from the UK to New Zealand 2 years ago and ive got a friend of mine coming over in September/October 09. We have been friends since we were 8 years old which is a pretty long time. But we have both decided that we really like eachother more than mates and this is why hes coming over. My parents know we like eachother and that he is coming over and they are fine with him living with us until he finds his feet but, I want him to be able to sleep in my bed beside me. I dont plan on doing anything more than sleep beside eachother, I just want to wake up next to him each morning. What do you guys think? Im asking for a parents point of view, how would you feel if your 16 year old daughter and her boyfriend were to share a bed? If you think that it is fine and accept the idea then do you have any tips or advice on how I could bring this up with my parents. Also, before he comes over to New Zealand, I am going back home to the UK for family reasons and therefore we will be able to see how things go between us before he comes to New Zealand and my parents will get to meet him etc. Im just really counting on this relationship to work because ive had a number of bad ones in the past. He really makes me happy and I have fallen in love with him. We are constantly on the phone to eachother, texting and online chatting. Thankyou for your time and I really do hope that one of you can help me out, whether you think its a good idea or a bad idea, I would like to know. =]

01-12-2009, 08:27 AM	#2
sourpuss WH Moderator Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Montana Posts: 2,191	I wouldn't allow it if I were your mother. But then again, I wouldn't let him come live in my home either. Aren't you both still in high school? __________________ Hard work beats talent, when talent doesn't work hard. Register! \| Rules/FAQ \| Contact Mod

01-14-2009, 01:58 AM	#6
CHANDLERS WISH WH Head Moderator Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Australia Posts: 12,701 Blog Entries: 8	I think that your parents are being very generous and loving to you.. Don't tarnish it by saying and I want. You are their "little girl" and besides, being in the same house? That's special, it gives you both time to get to know each other.... Don't try to ride against the waves, just go along the surf.... I am not a parent, but I agree with the posters above and plus you are not giving your parents credit for what they are doing for you... They have actually done something to help you "develop" this relationship..... think about what they are doing, you need to respect that and them. CW __________________ Women are Angels And when someone breaks our wings.... We simply continue to fly.........on a broomstick... We are flexible like that .... White Witch. Register! \| Rules/FAQ \| Contact Mod

01-15-2009, 01:00 AM	#7
damd Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: May 2008 Location: USA Posts: 333 Blog Entries: 2	Ya sounds great, 16 sleeping next to someone (in the same bed) who you look at as more than just mates. Don't plan on doing anything more than just sleeping so you could just wake up next to him.... What do you think he is going to be thinking about the whole time....? Gosh it's great just lying here next to more than mates person at such a close proximatey that nothing could possibly ever happen.... I also think that you should just be happy with the fact that your parents are allowing this young man to live with you for a short while. And if you and this young man wish to have sex, do it a place where you can be comfortable that dad is not going to get wind and have to explain to his friend why he had to kill there son. __________________

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01-12-2009, 08:32 AM	#3
YourMyStar<3 Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: New Zealand Posts: 4	I am still in high school but he isnt. He is only one month older than me. I understand where you are coming from in not letting him live in your home and only reason my parents are letting him is only until he finds his feet. He is going to do an apprenticeship for a couple of years while he is over here. His parents and my parents are both friends and have known eachother since me and him met. My parents are sort of looking after him in a way just until he finds his feet if you know what I mean.

01-12-2009, 01:34 PM	#4
Hopeless Dork Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: United States Posts: 2,192	If your parents are like most, this - even if they caved in and allowed it - would make them so very uncomfortable. You are their "baby" and you will be so even when you are 35. But coming home to visit with a boyfriend or husband for a week and sharing a bed is something they could rationalize if you were an adult and in a committed relationship. Being that you are still in high school it would be a lot harder for them to rationalize your desire to be held when you wake up. Wait for it. If you want that experience with him you will have it. It just doesn't have to be now , and in your parents home. I think asking them such a thing quite possibly would make them uncomfortable even having him in the house, or leaving the two of you alone together. It will likely make them re-think any trust they had that this would be a safe decision. You are looking, I am sure, for someone to tell you that if you were their daughter they would say sure that's fine and giving you the words to say that would make it allright. I don't have a daughter, but I am one. Respect them, why get them worried and upset for this and likely make your new living arrangement more uncomfortable for them after they say no to this very unreasonable request. I know this isn't what you wanted to hear. And of course I don't know your parents, but for the typical household this wouldn't come close to flying.

01-14-2009, 01:43 AM	#5
N01 Banned from WH Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 809	I'd have a big prob with my 16 y/o daughter sleeping on the same floor as a boy who isnt family, forget about in the same bed. Once 18 y/o comes, thats a little different. not that it still wouldn't bother me! similar question was asked awhile ago. you may want to look at http://www.womens-health.com/boards/...ping-over.html

01-17-2009, 08:02 AM	#8
WildChild WH Moderator Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Western USA Posts: 8,705 Blog Entries: 6	Doesn't matter what you think you want. Or what you think would happen. There's no way you are just going to just sleep beside each other - not realistic. Your parents will know that even if you don't. You are under their roof and have to follow their rules. My guess is if you push this, they'll either cancel or find some freinds who have sons for your freind to stay with.

03-09-2009, 06:52 PM	#9
bellalovesyah Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 3	i know exactily what you mean i'm almost 15 and i've been dating the same guy for 13 months now and i absolutly love him to death i know what and how you feel it got to the point that i thought that i was ready to do it but i wasnt and we both knew it and where able to go back to just falling asleep in eachothers arms we dont live together but i wish we did i feel that if you really like some one that you can sleep in the same bed with them with out doing it

03-09-2009, 10:28 PM	#10
echoskybound Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Baltimore Posts: 114	There are parents out there who can tolerate a lot, but you don't want to push it. My parents know for a fact that my boyfriend and I have been sleeping together for the past two years in college. We don't live together, but when my mom went with me to buy new furniture, she discouraged me from getting a twin bed and said, "A twin bed isn't going to be comfortable for you and Ben, why not get a full bed?" However, it's much different when we stay at my parent's house. He sleeps downstairs on the couch while I'm upstairs in my own bed. It's really just respectful, because it takes it to a whole different level when you're sleeping together in their house. I'm no parent, but even the idea of my highschool sister sleeping with guys grosses me out.

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