Thread: Boyfriend is testing the water with drugs and alcohol...

Ok, I'll give you the short response and I'm just about to walk out of the door.

Mother him and lose him. Control him and lose him.

Don't worry too much, people take loads of drugs and alcohol all the time and survive - the problem is only really ever in the long term rather than the short term. If he's responsible he should be able to experiment freely and to be honest grow as a person, find himself, and become wiser.

But then I probably take enough drugs for you to consider me as a degenerate, so why should you listen to me.

The alcohol isn't so much as a problem.. as long he is in a safe place drinking it... the drugs.. is a big issue.. it tends to lead to more potent drugs... and the more he smokes the stronger the urge to need it.. which means its more costly as well.. and with that money he could be spending it on you... make you happy and that makes him happy instead of him being selfish and just making himself happy...


I hope I was a help.

I say leave him alone. You cant force your beliefs on him. From your post it sounds like all he's doing is drinking and smoking???

Im the same as you in that i've never done any type of drug or even tasted alcohol, i feel strongly about it as well. That being said, i don't expect everyone to feel the same as me. I'm married but if i were single and my SO drank or smoked, well thats THEIR choice to make, not mine. If this is something you feel really strongly about maybe its time to move on and find someone that shares the same view as you.

If he were into illegal drugs i would say thats more of a problem, but even then you could not make him give them up. Its a choice he has to make for himself.

Smoke cigarettes or smoke weed? One is obviously more illegal than the other, but the illegal one is probably much healthier. I'd kick either guy to the curb, personally, because I don't dig tobacco breath or illegal things. If pot were legal, I wouldn't have a problem with it. Probably wouldn't do it myself, but that's just how I am ... I don't even smoke hookah.
Is there some facet of his personality that makes you feel like he is going to lose control? Has he been addicted to something else previously? Is there a history of addiction or abuse in his family?
But certainly, don't try to control him. If you're morally and fundamentally against alcohol or drugs, then tell him so. If he keeps on doing them, break up with him. But there's a distinct difference between telling him you're going to break up with him if he smokes/drinks (manipulation) or just leaving because it's a deal-breaker (making sure you can be happy in a relationship.) You DO deserve to be happy, as does he ... you deserve a boyfriend who does not drink or smoke and he deserves to drink or smoke if he so chooses. You're between a rock and a hard place.

Originally Posted by ChristinaAnn2008

and with that money he could be spending it on you...

The whole of your post is rubbish, but I just thought I'd highlight this sentence. IF SOMEONE HAS A HOBBY THAT COSTS MONEY YOU DON'T DUMP THEM BECAUSE THEY AREN'T BUYING YOU STUFF, GOLDDIGGER.