I Need Advice Or Help Or Something...Please...

InLoveWithHim · 01-25-2009, 02:14 PM

Hi,

My name is Sarah and I am 21 years old. I have been with the man I am deeply in love with , Tony, 28, for 10 months now.

I dont know how to explain this but.. for some reason I can not trust him.

This all started in July when he lied to me and went to a party while I was back up in the UP, which didn't bother me. I liked his best friends family, but it got us into such a severe fight that we broke for like 2 days.. maybe. Well at this party, was his ex girlfriend, Lisa, who he was with for like 4 months and she cheated on him TWICE and got PREGNANT. Anyways, when I got back down here and we got back together, she wouldn't leave him alone, emailed him, text him, eerything. So one day I asked him if i could email her and tell her to back off, he said yes so i did. She emailed me back and told me that he had cheated on me with her right after we got back together and well she said that they had kissed and made out in the parking lot of a bar and then they "supposively" came back to our house and hooked up, and i believed her until I talked to him, He told me that he would never cheat on me especially with her, so i emailed her back and told her i didn't believe her and she went on and on about how he loved her still and didn't want me to move down here (HES THE ONE WHO ASKED ME TO...I WASN'T GOING TO).. But then I talked to his best friend Sean who goes with him if he goes out to the bar ect..well he told me that it never happened but since then I have been having trouble trusting him.

Well almost a month ago we went out to the bar with his friends Sean and Lucas and Emily. Emily and I were in the upstairs area of the bar when we realized that the guys were gone (I was drunk by now) and so I went downstairs and when I did Tony, Sean, And Lucas were talking to these two women at the bar, and Tony was holding one of their hands, and I got really upset so I went back upstairs and I started crying, well he followed me up there and told me that He and Sean were trying to set Lucas (who is married and DRUNK) up so he could get laid and He swore that he told them that he had a girlfriend and that I was upstairs but I overreacted and I left. I took off downtown and didn't really know where I was, he came and found me and tried to calm me down, telling me that I was the only woman he loved and that he was sorry, so i forgave him but I couldnt trust him.

Well I should also mention that we dont really have sex all that much (I have a 9 centimeter cyst on my ovary and it causes me pain when we do have sex) but I did ask him not to look at porn, it makes me feel like i'm not good enough for him, hes a skinny little asian man and I am a big native american girl with very LOW self esteem, well anyway, he looked at a whole lot of it one day and it made me upset but what ws worse was that he was checking up on his ex, Lisa, who he swore he was over, but I overlooked it.

Since this all happened, we have been okay but I still feel like i can't 100% trust him.

He's been trying to make me feel wanted I guess by having sex more then he can handle but I dont know.

I am suppose to marry this man but i dont know if i can..

I dont know what to do anymore. I do no know if i should be with him anymore.. I really need help.. PLEASE help me!!

Thank You.

Sarah..

booboo_bear1713 · 01-25-2009, 02:52 PM

well trust is really essential in a relationship, and if you can't trust him then there's not much of a point. have you tried talking to him about your trust issues?

InLoveWithHim · 01-25-2009, 03:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by booboo_bear1713

well trust is really essential in a relationship, and if you can't trust him then there's not much of a point. have you tried talking to him about your trust issues?

yes i have. he tells me that there is no point for me not to trust him because he swears he has never cheated on me.

booboo_bear1713 · 01-25-2009, 05:38 PM

well, i suppose considering what your post said his ex had accused him (thats usually b.s.) and you weren't all there the other time that you "caught him". maybe you should try to loosen up but don't let your guard down, like trust him but not full trust?

01-25-2009, 02:14 PM	#1
InLoveWithHim Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Ann Arbor, Michigan Posts: 13	I Need Advice Or Help Or Something...Please... Hi, My name is Sarah and I am 21 years old. I have been with the man I am deeply in love with , Tony, 28, for 10 months now. I dont know how to explain this but.. for some reason I can not trust him. This all started in July when he lied to me and went to a party while I was back up in the UP, which didn't bother me. I liked his best friends family, but it got us into such a severe fight that we broke for like 2 days.. maybe. Well at this party, was his ex girlfriend, Lisa, who he was with for like 4 months and she cheated on him TWICE and got PREGNANT. Anyways, when I got back down here and we got back together, she wouldn't leave him alone, emailed him, text him, eerything. So one day I asked him if i could email her and tell her to back off, he said yes so i did. She emailed me back and told me that he had cheated on me with her right after we got back together and well she said that they had kissed and made out in the parking lot of a bar and then they "supposively" came back to our house and hooked up, and i believed her until I talked to him, He told me that he would never cheat on me especially with her, so i emailed her back and told her i didn't believe her and she went on and on about how he loved her still and didn't want me to move down here (HES THE ONE WHO ASKED ME TO...I WASN'T GOING TO).. But then I talked to his best friend Sean who goes with him if he goes out to the bar ect..well he told me that it never happened but since then I have been having trouble trusting him. Well almost a month ago we went out to the bar with his friends Sean and Lucas and Emily. Emily and I were in the upstairs area of the bar when we realized that the guys were gone (I was drunk by now) and so I went downstairs and when I did Tony, Sean, And Lucas were talking to these two women at the bar, and Tony was holding one of their hands, and I got really upset so I went back upstairs and I started crying, well he followed me up there and told me that He and Sean were trying to set Lucas (who is married and DRUNK) up so he could get laid and He swore that he told them that he had a girlfriend and that I was upstairs but I overreacted and I left. I took off downtown and didn't really know where I was, he came and found me and tried to calm me down, telling me that I was the only woman he loved and that he was sorry, so i forgave him but I couldnt trust him. Well I should also mention that we dont really have sex all that much (I have a 9 centimeter cyst on my ovary and it causes me pain when we do have sex) but I did ask him not to look at porn, it makes me feel like i'm not good enough for him, hes a skinny little asian man and I am a big native american girl with very LOW self esteem, well anyway, he looked at a whole lot of it one day and it made me upset but what ws worse was that he was checking up on his ex, Lisa, who he swore he was over, but I overlooked it. Since this all happened, we have been okay but I still feel like i can't 100% trust him. He's been trying to make me feel wanted I guess by having sex more then he can handle but I dont know. I am suppose to marry this man but i dont know if i can.. I dont know what to do anymore. I do no know if i should be with him anymore.. I really need help.. PLEASE help me!! Thank You. Sarah..

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01-25-2009, 02:52 PM	#2
booboo_bear1713 Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Canada Posts: 3	well trust is really essential in a relationship, and if you can't trust him then there's not much of a point. have you tried talking to him about your trust issues?

01-25-2009, 05:38 PM	#4
booboo_bear1713 Junior Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Canada Posts: 3	well, i suppose considering what your post said his ex had accused him (thats usually b.s.) and you weren't all there the other time that you "caught him". maybe you should try to loosen up but don't let your guard down, like trust him but not full trust?