A commited man in a strip club? - Page 2

**lovemyself1** · 02-12-2009, 06:08 AM

i'm also torn about this situation. i believe in trust totally....but what would bug me is if he gets turned on. i want to be the one in his life that turns him on...not some stripper that takes her clothes off for a living!! i am all for going to one with him..even him at the stage is fine with me..where i can see whats going on! i dont like the idea of a private lap dance. eventhough i trust him...i dont trust her. you know men...once the hormones go theres no turning back...

definately come to an agreement on what both of you are comfortable with. he should also be considerate of your feelings about it.

**lovemyself1** · 02-16-2009, 05:20 PM

hey,
so, this last weekend i thought id be one of those really cool girlfriends and take my man to a strip club. i thought i'd be ok, but i wasnt. we stayed even though i know he'd leave if i wanted to. i put money on the stage to even have a totally hot, naked girl put her crotch in his face! he didnt want to do it actually, so i know he didnt enjoy it that much. (that made me glad) but after we left there, we had a talk and i told him how i felt. we agreed that we would not put ourselves in that situation again. Communication.......

**torn2pieces** · 02-17-2009, 04:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lovemyself1

hey,
so, this last weekend i thought id be one of those really cool girlfriends and take my man to a strip club. i thought i'd be ok, but i wasnt. we stayed even though i know he'd leave if i wanted to. i put money on the stage to even have a totally hot, naked girl put her crotch in his face! he didnt want to do it actually, so i know he didnt enjoy it that much. (that made me glad) but after we left there, we had a talk and i told him how i felt. we agreed that we would not put ourselves in that situation again. Communication.......

It must be nice to have that behind you. I can't imagine how it felt to see another girls crotch in my mans face. How did you feel?

Well Sunday night we went to the casino and it was advertising a show that would be there (it was shirtless, sexy men) and the date was on my sisters birthday. He starts saying you should go, you should take her, find out about the tickets. I am not really interested in the show and he keeps saying something about it and then he says "I just want you to know that I am okay with you going to something like that". With him saying that it kinda takes from my point of "how would you feel if I had a penis in my face".

nsharonew · 02-17-2009, 06:53 PM

I used to have a problem with my ex-husband going to a strip club and made him PROMISE not to go to any more.

I got my cell phone bill and found 17 pages of phone calls starting at 8 at night and ending at 8 in the morning, so I googled some of the numbers (nasty habit to break, FYI) and found they were escort services.

When I confronted him about cheating he said he had only ordered a stripper (yea, sure, a grown man calls a woman to his hotel room at 2 in the morning to watch her take off her clothes...whatever) so I said "the calls started at 8:00 at night, the strip clubs were still open" and then...."But you made me promise not to go to the strip club anymore..."

Needless to say, he is no longer my, nor anyone elses husband.

Moral of the story...there are worse things. They show T&A on cable now, and guys will likely always look, and I think the advice to go with him is brilliant! The ladies, they aren't like they are in the movies...they are normal woman with normal flaws like back acne and stretch marks...seriously....so if you go with him, you can see how "normal" they really are, it might help you to overcome this.

Good luck!

**Hopeless Dork** · 02-17-2009, 07:04 PM

lol sharon love your post (back acne and stretch marks) so very true. They wear fake hair, fake nails, fake bake tans, heavy make up, 7 inch heels to give the illusion of a more protruding derrier and firmer calves, the breasts are filled with silicone and lips filled with collagen, the lights are dim and the men are loaded up on beer and shots and likely unaware of the many bruises and scratches from crawling all over the pole and floor.

They are rubbing their crotch on one mans face 2 minutes after they were rubbing the same crotch on an old mans damp sweatpant covered lap. Sexy.

I agree, the typical strip club is nothing like we see on tv with georgous models etc. Many are packing the muffin top or baby bellies under their lingerie etc.

The more I think about the men that go in and drop so much money to get attention from these women the more I feel sorry for them, both the strippers and the lonely men.

awcmon · 02-17-2009, 08:26 PM

I couldn't agree more. Pitiful - for both.

Married15 · 02-18-2009, 07:49 AM

Quote:

I wouldn't care if my man went.. I'd find it amusing and probably ask him if he got turned on, did she have bigger boobs than me or were they false.

But, that's me, I don't hold jealousy and I base my relationships on trust and "touch wood" the last person who cheated on me was my first boyfriend and I was 18.

CW

Agree, it's one of those "if they are not abusing it then whats the problem" things for me! If there is communication and compromise which leads to boundries for BOTH of you(which there should be)then you should have no issues about this!

I feel sorry for the lonely dancers on Broadway myself!

**Hopeless Dork** · 02-18-2009, 08:07 AM

lol married :-) I sure didn't mean to sound condesending about strippers chosen line of work. I don't like to be judgmental, part of its cattyness I suppose. Part of it is a genuine feeling sorry that they have to be so intimate with a lot of men they are not attracted to in order to pay the bills. I am sure some do it because they love dry-humping "real winner" types of guys that require said paid for dry humps, but for a lot its a job, a dirty job. Like cleaning the porta-potties at a chilli cook off.

Many lack the education, skills needed to obtain jobs that pay enough to support them or their kids, and just frankly need the cash and it is those that I feel sorry for. The ones that turn to drugs and heavy alcohol abuse to numb the feelings of self-hate they have for having to resort to it. I have seen that up close and personal.

Married15 · 02-18-2009, 08:15 AM

All I'm saying is don't judge a book by it's cover..I am in Law School(finally YAY)and 2 of the girls in my classes are well accomplished, extremely educated women. Guess how they are paying for Law School...!!! These types are probably the minority but they do exist!

The ones that do it because they are addcited to drugs and what not, yeah I agree with you !

**lovemyself1** · 02-24-2009, 12:47 AM

torn2pieces

i did feel bad watching it, but looking back at it...this girl was pretty, but she was what everyone else has been saying here. lots of make-up, hair extensions, fake nails, baby bells & stretch marks...plus he said he didnt enjoy it. i tossed the girls a few bucks...i feel bad for them.

02-12-2009, 06:08 AM	#11
lovemyself1 Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: May 2008 Location: wisconsin Posts: 118	i'm also torn about this situation. i believe in trust totally....but what would bug me is if he gets turned on. i want to be the one in his life that turns him on...not some stripper that takes her clothes off for a living!! i am all for going to one with him..even him at the stage is fine with me..where i can see whats going on! i dont like the idea of a private lap dance. eventhough i trust him...i dont trust her. you know men...once the hormones go theres no turning back... definately come to an agreement on what both of you are comfortable with. he should also be considerate of your feelings about it. __________________ Smile...it's not so bad.

02-16-2009, 05:20 PM	#12
lovemyself1 Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: May 2008 Location: wisconsin Posts: 118	hey, so, this last weekend i thought id be one of those really cool girlfriends and take my man to a strip club. i thought i'd be ok, but i wasnt. we stayed even though i know he'd leave if i wanted to. i put money on the stage to even have a totally hot, naked girl put her crotch in his face! he didnt want to do it actually, so i know he didnt enjoy it that much. (that made me glad) but after we left there, we had a talk and i told him how i felt. we agreed that we would not put ourselves in that situation again. Communication....... __________________ Smile...it's not so bad.

02-24-2009, 12:47 AM	#20
lovemyself1 Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: May 2008 Location: wisconsin Posts: 118	torn2pieces i did feel bad watching it, but looking back at it...this girl was pretty, but she was what everyone else has been saying here. lots of make-up, hair extensions, fake nails, baby bells & stretch marks...plus he said he didnt enjoy it. i tossed the girls a few bucks...i feel bad for them. __________________ Smile...it's not so bad.

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02-17-2009, 06:53 PM	#14
nsharonew Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 24	I used to have a problem with my ex-husband going to a strip club and made him PROMISE not to go to any more. I got my cell phone bill and found 17 pages of phone calls starting at 8 at night and ending at 8 in the morning, so I googled some of the numbers (nasty habit to break, FYI) and found they were escort services. When I confronted him about cheating he said he had only ordered a stripper (yea, sure, a grown man calls a woman to his hotel room at 2 in the morning to watch her take off her clothes...whatever) so I said "the calls started at 8:00 at night, the strip clubs were still open" and then...."But you made me promise not to go to the strip club anymore..." Needless to say, he is no longer my, nor anyone elses husband. Moral of the story...there are worse things. They show T&A on cable now, and guys will likely always look, and I think the advice to go with him is brilliant! The ladies, they aren't like they are in the movies...they are normal woman with normal flaws like back acne and stretch marks...seriously....so if you go with him, you can see how "normal" they really are, it might help you to overcome this. Good luck!

02-17-2009, 07:04 PM	#15
Hopeless Dork Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: United States Posts: 1,235	lol sharon love your post (back acne and stretch marks) so very true. They wear fake hair, fake nails, fake bake tans, heavy make up, 7 inch heels to give the illusion of a more protruding derrier and firmer calves, the breasts are filled with silicone and lips filled with collagen, the lights are dim and the men are loaded up on beer and shots and likely unaware of the many bruises and scratches from crawling all over the pole and floor. They are rubbing their crotch on one mans face 2 minutes after they were rubbing the same crotch on an old mans damp sweatpant covered lap. Sexy. I agree, the typical strip club is nothing like we see on tv with georgous models etc. Many are packing the muffin top or baby bellies under their lingerie etc. The more I think about the men that go in and drop so much money to get attention from these women the more I feel sorry for them, both the strippers and the lonely men.

02-17-2009, 08:26 PM	#16
awcmon Banned from WH Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 20	I couldn't agree more. Pitiful - for both.

02-18-2009, 08:07 AM	#18
Hopeless Dork Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: United States Posts: 1,235	lol married :-) I sure didn't mean to sound condesending about strippers chosen line of work. I don't like to be judgmental, part of its cattyness I suppose. Part of it is a genuine feeling sorry that they have to be so intimate with a lot of men they are not attracted to in order to pay the bills. I am sure some do it because they love dry-humping "real winner" types of guys that require said paid for dry humps, but for a lot its a job, a dirty job. Like cleaning the porta-potties at a chilli cook off. Many lack the education, skills needed to obtain jobs that pay enough to support them or their kids, and just frankly need the cash and it is those that I feel sorry for. The ones that turn to drugs and heavy alcohol abuse to numb the feelings of self-hate they have for having to resort to it. I have seen that up close and personal.

02-18-2009, 08:15 AM	#19
Married15 Banned from WH Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: The hills have eyes!!!! Posts: 95	All I'm saying is don't judge a book by it's cover..I am in Law School(finally YAY)and 2 of the girls in my classes are well accomplished, extremely educated women. Guess how they are paying for Law School...!!! These types are probably the minority but they do exist! The ones that do it because they are addcited to drugs and what not, yeah I agree with you !