A commited man in a strip club? - Page 4

**Steph33** · 03-01-2009, 04:32 PM

My BF was invited to my cousin's bachelor party. Not real comfortable for him with strangers but he felt it was a right thing to do and deal with my family. An hour after I dropped him off he called and wanted me to please come and get him. My family is generally blue collar and for the party they hired a couple strippers. Unknown to me, my BF had never been in a strip club, and never saw a stripper. He was pretty unglued. To him why would anyone want to look at somebody naked and get excited if you don't belong to them ? Why WANT to look at some stranger female naked when you have one of your own to look at? If he had stayed he felt he would be cheating on me. This is the typical guy bachelor party in my family. I laid awake for hours absorbing the reality of that night.

outsidethebox · 03-18-2009, 11:37 PM

Posting a profile on Facebook and hoping to catch up with your old boyfriend is far worse than it is to pay for a 2 minute lap dance.

By the way, he DOES want to see other girls' breasts. He DOES want to touch other girls' skin. Because he married YOU doesn't extinguish his 3 million years of sexual evolution. He is programmed to look.

Take your pick. Lap dance or affair with your best friend. Of course, like anything else, once it's a habit then it's a problem.

This one time stuff....get over it. You're ruining your own life.

**Steph33** · 03-19-2009, 06:01 AM

By the way, he DOES want to see other girls' breasts. He DOES want to touch other girls' skin. Because he married YOU doesn't extinguish his 3 million years of sexual evolution. He is programmed to look.

"Take your pick. Lap dance or affair with your best friend. Of course, like anything else, once it's a habit then it's a problem.

This one time stuff....get over it. You're ruining your own life."

Nothing like a moronic comment lacking in depth, insight, or perspective from the "other side" to help people solve their problems. The next time you're really "into" whoever your dating, let her know she can give one of the Chippendales a blow job and you'll be fine with it on her girls night out (but don't make it a habit). And if you're a female, be sure and wear a condom. Whatever you're dating is probably not anything safe considering what you think is normal, acceptable, or "OK."

You're saying if a partner thinks it's cheating, "1 time" or "occassionally" is OK, but a habit isn't. No wonder so many people are sad or screwed up.

outsidethebox · 03-26-2009, 04:02 PM

Steph33 "...she can give one of the Chippendales a blow job and you'll be fine with it on her girls night out..."

If you can't distinguish between a blow job and a fully clothed lap dance, then your guy is in for some real trouble.

**Fallen1** · 03-26-2009, 04:35 PM

Let's keep it civil ladies (and gentleman).

**MandyBee23** · 04-04-2009, 10:26 PM

I know exactly how you feel. I have pretty much been through the same thing with my boyfriend. Except I found out because I let him borrow my car to go to a friends and I had noticed things were moved around in my back seat the next day, so I asked him if he drove someone somewhere and after a good few minutes it finally came out that he and some friends went to the strip club. I was so upset, more so that he couldn’t just tell me about it. My bf used to go to the strip club all the time (before he started dating me) but now only goes every once and a while with guy friends and sometimes buy him self. And he didn’t start going until almost 2 years into our relationship. I usually get very upset but I have been getting better. As soon as he would tell me over the phone that he was going I would act like it was fine but as soon as we got off the phone I’d start crying. But like I said I’m getting better now, I guess I just don’t care anymore. Like what was said in previous posts about how the women are fake and usually unattractive. I know I am more attractive than any girl in there and he comes home to me every night, so that has really helped me to get over it. It was really hard too because I would find receipts where he would take out a ridiculous amount of money while in the club, though most of it was still in his pocket. He tells me he goes to just have a drink and tells the girls to get away from him when they come over and never gets a lap dance. It’s just a place for him to have "guy time" or some time to wine down by himself. I believe him; don’t have any reason to think other wise yet. But I know I couldn’t handle it if he was getting lap dances, I’d consider it cheating or pretty close and he knows that. Hope things work out for you!

**Karma3** · 06-11-2009, 12:56 PM

(Outsidethebox) your comment about fully clothed lap dances......Pahahahaha, where the heck do you live?? Strip clubs have naked women who take customers into the VIP rooms and they both can partake in nasty deeds and these clubs turn a blind eye.

I'm not saying that all men are not honest, but come on girls....do you really think that your man is going to come home and admit that he had a hand job or a blow job at the club??

**yellowpiXi3** · 06-11-2009, 05:06 PM

yes i would have to agree with karma it is true. some strip clubs have as much on as a bikini and that's about it. but who would want to go to those? lol.

**Steph33** · 06-11-2009, 07:15 PM

Men can explain however they want. Men who need or want clubs are pigs, I'm not dumb enough to buy otherwise. I'd never stop my SO from going if he wanted to, and just keep going since what I have would be unavailable.

Always loved when my girlfriend's with pigish boyfreinds who lived on porn and strip clubs saw their men's reaction when they went to see male strippers.

Date a male child, expect child behaviour

**CHANDLERS WISH** · 06-11-2009, 07:26 PM

Steph,

Disrespect for someone's feelings if in a relationship is being a "pigheaded" person.

People have "addictions", some men go to clubs for the addiction..that doesn't make them a pig but a man with a problem.

And, you should feel sorry for your girlfriends that they are in that type of relationship whereby their man is not thinking of how they feel in the situation, if it's an "addiction"..and if they are not being treated right at home...

There's nothing wrong with going to a strip club. There may be something wrong with it being a weekly thing, daily thing and in a relationship...

CW

03-26-2009, 04:02 PM	#34
outsidethebox Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 2	Steph33 "...she can give one of the Chippendales a blow job and you'll be fine with it on her girls night out..." If you can't distinguish between a blow job and a fully clothed lap dance, then your guy is in for some real trouble. Last edited by CHANDLERS WISH; 03-26-2009 at 04:46 PM. Reason: in-appropriate reply

06-11-2009, 07:15 PM	#39
Steph33 Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 282	Men can explain however they want. Men who need or want clubs are pigs, I'm not dumb enough to buy otherwise. I'd never stop my SO from going if he wanted to, and just keep going since what I have would be unavailable. Always loved when my girlfriend's with pigish boyfreinds who lived on porn and strip clubs saw their men's reaction when they went to see male strippers. Date a male child, expect child behaviour Last edited by CHANDLERS WISH; 06-11-2009 at 07:21 PM.

06-11-2009, 07:26 PM	#40
CHANDLERS WISH WH Moderator Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Australia Posts: 9,890 Blog Entries: 7	Steph, Disrespect for someone's feelings if in a relationship is being a "pigheaded" person. People have "addictions", some men go to clubs for the addiction..that doesn't make them a pig but a man with a problem. And, you should feel sorry for your girlfriends that they are in that type of relationship whereby their man is not thinking of how they feel in the situation, if it's an "addiction"..and if they are not being treated right at home... There's nothing wrong with going to a strip club. There may be something wrong with it being a weekly thing, daily thing and in a relationship... CW __________________ Do we not realise that in order to find a soul It doesn't happen over night if truth were to be told Like everything in life that's hard to achieve you must believe! Register! \| Rules/FAQ \| Contact Mod

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03-01-2009, 04:32 PM	#31
Steph33 Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 282	My BF was invited to my cousin's bachelor party. Not real comfortable for him with strangers but he felt it was a right thing to do and deal with my family. An hour after I dropped him off he called and wanted me to please come and get him. My family is generally blue collar and for the party they hired a couple strippers. Unknown to me, my BF had never been in a strip club, and never saw a stripper. He was pretty unglued. To him why would anyone want to look at somebody naked and get excited if you don't belong to them ? Why WANT to look at some stranger female naked when you have one of your own to look at? If he had stayed he felt he would be cheating on me. This is the typical guy bachelor party in my family. I laid awake for hours absorbing the reality of that night.

03-18-2009, 11:37 PM	#32
outsidethebox Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 2	Posting a profile on Facebook and hoping to catch up with your old boyfriend is far worse than it is to pay for a 2 minute lap dance. By the way, he DOES want to see other girls' breasts. He DOES want to touch other girls' skin. Because he married YOU doesn't extinguish his 3 million years of sexual evolution. He is programmed to look. Take your pick. Lap dance or affair with your best friend. Of course, like anything else, once it's a habit then it's a problem. This one time stuff....get over it. You're ruining your own life.

03-19-2009, 06:01 AM	#33
Steph33 Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 282	By the way, he DOES want to see other girls' breasts. He DOES want to touch other girls' skin. Because he married YOU doesn't extinguish his 3 million years of sexual evolution. He is programmed to look. "Take your pick. Lap dance or affair with your best friend. Of course, like anything else, once it's a habit then it's a problem. This one time stuff....get over it. You're ruining your own life." Nothing like a moronic comment lacking in depth, insight, or perspective from the "other side" to help people solve their problems. The next time you're really "into" whoever your dating, let her know she can give one of the Chippendales a blow job and you'll be fine with it on her girls night out (but don't make it a habit). And if you're a female, be sure and wear a condom. Whatever you're dating is probably not anything safe considering what you think is normal, acceptable, or "OK." You're saying if a partner thinks it's cheating, "1 time" or "occassionally" is OK, but a habit isn't. No wonder so many people are sad or screwed up.

03-26-2009, 04:35 PM	#35
Fallen1 WH Moderator Hexxagon Champion! Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: US Posts: 817 Blog Entries: 1	Let's keep it civil ladies (and gentleman).

04-04-2009, 10:26 PM	#36
MandyBee23 VIP Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 72 Blog Entries: 4	I know exactly how you feel. I have pretty much been through the same thing with my boyfriend. Except I found out because I let him borrow my car to go to a friends and I had noticed things were moved around in my back seat the next day, so I asked him if he drove someone somewhere and after a good few minutes it finally came out that he and some friends went to the strip club. I was so upset, more so that he couldn’t just tell me about it. My bf used to go to the strip club all the time (before he started dating me) but now only goes every once and a while with guy friends and sometimes buy him self. And he didn’t start going until almost 2 years into our relationship. I usually get very upset but I have been getting better. As soon as he would tell me over the phone that he was going I would act like it was fine but as soon as we got off the phone I’d start crying. But like I said I’m getting better now, I guess I just don’t care anymore. Like what was said in previous posts about how the women are fake and usually unattractive. I know I am more attractive than any girl in there and he comes home to me every night, so that has really helped me to get over it. It was really hard too because I would find receipts where he would take out a ridiculous amount of money while in the club, though most of it was still in his pocket. He tells me he goes to just have a drink and tells the girls to get away from him when they come over and never gets a lap dance. It’s just a place for him to have "guy time" or some time to wine down by himself. I believe him; don’t have any reason to think other wise yet. But I know I couldn’t handle it if he was getting lap dances, I’d consider it cheating or pretty close and he knows that. Hope things work out for you!

06-11-2009, 12:56 PM	#37
Karma3 VIP Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 62	(Outsidethebox) your comment about fully clothed lap dances......Pahahahaha, where the heck do you live?? Strip clubs have naked women who take customers into the VIP rooms and they both can partake in nasty deeds and these clubs turn a blind eye. I'm not saying that all men are not honest, but come on girls....do you really think that your man is going to come home and admit that he had a hand job or a blow job at the club??

06-11-2009, 05:06 PM	#38
yellowpiXi3 Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: californication Posts: 290 Blog Entries: 8	yes i would have to agree with karma it is true. some strip clubs have as much on as a bikini and that's about it. but who would want to go to those? lol.