Getting a guy's attention...

**sourpuss** · 02-25-2009, 12:14 AM

Hopefully the guys can help out here. What do you do to get a guy's attention without being all flirty? There is a guy I see occasionally (few times a week) but for the most part it's just a 'Hi, how are you?" "Good, how are you?" ...keep walking encounter. I don't want to be forward because we haven't talked that much and I only see him at his work and I dread the thought of making someone uncomfortable at their workplace.

Oh, and to top it off he always seems to have a little fan club of girls following him around. Boooo!

kerapetse · 02-25-2009, 06:49 AM

So u say u greet each other,u can start with a simple compliment like"Nice shirt",thats for staters for 1 day,then 2 days after u can take advanatage of the weather if its too or too hot or raining.U can say to him after greeting him if there's a chance u will walk together for a couple of minutes or in the lift"this sun is too hot today hey" or"i never thought it would rain like this" just to start a good conversation that wont need any explaination or deeper info.Then if he responds,u can take it from there & talk about different things.But i'll warn u about the bunch girls,they might be after him too so just play your cards wisely.U dont need another girl telling that u are after the same man she is.Good luck girl

**sourpuss** · 02-25-2009, 01:54 PM

Thanks! He actually talked to me today so that's a lot of pressure off me. AND I managed to not make a complete fool of myself. (which is a miracle) Success. We'll see how the next few days pan out. hehe

**kms** · 02-25-2009, 01:58 PM

I'm not a guy but things that have worked for me are talking about things like the weather, something about his clothes (plus that shows that you're paying attention to him), something going on around you, plans for the weekend (this is always can potentially open doors), whatever else you know about him - like if you know where he works and what kind of work he does, say something related to that... always be confident, have a smile, and maintain meaningful eye contact.

Also don't feel too bad about the bevy of girls - clearly what they're doing isn't working because they're still chasing him! By not joining in with them you're setting yourself apart as different, and making yourself hard to get. Give him a little bit here and there, let him get intrigued and then maybe he'll start chasing you. Guys like challenges and conquering and winning.

**sourpuss** · 02-25-2009, 04:18 PM

Indeed. At first I was avoiding him because I'm shy but I realized that it may come across as stuck up. The eye contact thing is tough but I'll force myself to do it.

**Lakerat** · 02-26-2009, 07:15 AM

Eye contact...the way you carry yourself...confidence is attractive ...but dont be conceded....(there can be a fine line between them to some guys). Intelligence for me is very attractive..(some men dont like to think of a woman being smarter than them...but if hes like that ya probably need to stay away from him)

The way you dress can be a big factor.........(This is my opinion) If you dress very sexual/revealing...generally were thinking sex...and the attraction will be based on that..it will be mainly to get you in the sack...(not always but mostly)
For me a woman can dress with a little class just showing hints.combine that with some intelligent conversation (something hes interested in

)jk
and eye contact when you talk....

Some men can be shy a smile when you walk by and a hi while looking him in the eyes can be a good way for future conversation....some men need a few days to get their confidence up to talk so a lil patience is needed
(but it sounds like your past this)

If hes interested...it really wont matter what you talk about...and not being in the flock(so to speak) does make you stand out...so sounds like youve already got his attention....good luck

**sourpuss** · 03-11-2009, 08:32 AM

So I read last night something interesting. Studies have found that if a woman makes eye contact a number of times and smiles, in a really high percentage of cases, the man will eventually approach. It's not even the attractiveness of the woman that matters. It's the amount of eye contact.

So that's interesting. Easier said than done when you are shy. I've been chatting a bit with this fellow, a bit more each time we see one another, which is good. I just don't know how to approach the subject of getting together outside of his work place. I think I'll give it a few more days and see where our conversations go.....hopefully he'll just ask me to do something and make it easy. Haha.

Whatwhatwhat · 03-12-2009, 01:28 AM

<<<< So I read last night something interesting. Studies have found that if a woman makes eye contact a number of times and smiles >>>>
If he has a clue he will respond. Some guys are clueless though, for them I recommend smiling more.
It's the new millennium, make yourself approachable.
- Carry an interesting prop.
- Wear something fashionable that is interesting.
- Say something interesting. Ask an interesting question. Ask an opinion on an topic you find interesting.
- Say hello. Say "You know every time I see you you have a warm smile and an enthusiastic grin for me, it's nice." (after he says hello)
- and SMILE MORE

<<<< I just don't know how to approach the subject of getting together outside of his work place. >>>>
He should ask you to coffee or something. If he doesn't take the hint say "well I was just on my way to getting a cup of coffee...."

And don't be a "sourpuss" :P

**Hopeless Dork** · 03-12-2009, 01:58 AM

[QUOTE=sourpuss;79719]So I read last night something interesting. Studies have found that if a woman makes eye contact a number of times and smiles, in a really high percentage of cases, the man will eventually approach. It's not even the attractiveness of the woman that matters. It's the amount of eye contact.

QUOTE]

Interesting that you mention that, I wonder if that works on us females too. As I recall when I met my boyfriend, I immediatly thought he was hot and though I never flirted and neither did he, we would just have normal conversations, at first I didn't think he was interested in me because he didnt ask me out or act overtly flirty and I am way too shy to be flirty around a guy I am attracted to.

The only thing that made me feel he was attracted to me was the way he looked into my eyes when he spoke, it would make my heart beat so fast It gave me confidence and comfort in talking to him more until he did end up asking me out.

So I would definitely try that out, I think it lets people know that you are tuned into what they are saying, and that tears down some walls right away, it did for me.

**sourpuss** · 03-12-2009, 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Whatwhatwhat

<<<< I just don't know how to approach the subject of getting together outside of his work place. >>>>
He should ask you to coffee or something. If he doesn't take the hint say "well I was just on my way to getting a cup of coffee...."

And don't be a "sourpuss" :P

He should just ask me for coffee, that would make everything a whole lot easier on my end!

I will see him this evening and again tomorrow morning so I'm going to try to strike up some sort of conversation that would lead to talking about the weekend.....we'll see....I'll probably chicken out though. Haha

02-25-2009, 12:14 AM	#1
sourpuss WH Moderator Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Montana Posts: 1,376	Getting a guy's attention... Hopefully the guys can help out here. What do you do to get a guy's attention without being all flirty? There is a guy I see occasionally (few times a week) but for the most part it's just a 'Hi, how are you?" "Good, how are you?" ...keep walking encounter. I don't want to be forward because we haven't talked that much and I only see him at his work and I dread the thought of making someone uncomfortable at their workplace. Oh, and to top it off he always seems to have a little fan club of girls following him around. Boooo! __________________ Hard work beats talent, when talent doesn't work hard. Register! \| Rules/FAQ \| Contact Mod

02-25-2009, 01:54 PM	#3
sourpuss WH Moderator Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Montana Posts: 1,376	Thanks! He actually talked to me today so that's a lot of pressure off me. AND I managed to not make a complete fool of myself. (which is a miracle) Success. We'll see how the next few days pan out. hehe __________________ Hard work beats talent, when talent doesn't work hard. Register! \| Rules/FAQ \| Contact Mod

02-25-2009, 04:18 PM	#5
sourpuss WH Moderator Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Montana Posts: 1,376	Indeed. At first I was avoiding him because I'm shy but I realized that it may come across as stuck up. The eye contact thing is tough but I'll force myself to do it. __________________ Hard work beats talent, when talent doesn't work hard. Register! \| Rules/FAQ \| Contact Mod

02-26-2009, 07:15 AM	#6
Lakerat Gold Contributor 500+ Posts Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 835	Eye contact...the way you carry yourself...confidence is attractive ...but dont be conceded....(there can be a fine line between them to some guys). Intelligence for me is very attractive..(some men dont like to think of a woman being smarter than them...but if hes like that ya probably need to stay away from him) The way you dress can be a big factor.........(This is my opinion) If you dress very sexual/revealing...generally were thinking sex...and the attraction will be based on that..it will be mainly to get you in the sack...(not always but mostly) For me a woman can dress with a little class just showing hints.combine that with some intelligent conversation (something hes interested in )jk and eye contact when you talk.... Some men can be shy a smile when you walk by and a hi while looking him in the eyes can be a good way for future conversation....some men need a few days to get their confidence up to talk so a lil patience is needed (but it sounds like your past this) If hes interested...it really wont matter what you talk about...and not being in the flock(so to speak) does make you stand out...so sounds like youve already got his attention....good luck __________________ If it wasn't for the bad times.... We wouldn't appreciate the good ones!

03-11-2009, 08:32 AM	#7
sourpuss WH Moderator Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Montana Posts: 1,376	So I read last night something interesting. Studies have found that if a woman makes eye contact a number of times and smiles, in a really high percentage of cases, the man will eventually approach. It's not even the attractiveness of the woman that matters. It's the amount of eye contact. So that's interesting. Easier said than done when you are shy. I've been chatting a bit with this fellow, a bit more each time we see one another, which is good. I just don't know how to approach the subject of getting together outside of his work place. I think I'll give it a few more days and see where our conversations go.....hopefully he'll just ask me to do something and make it easy. Haha. __________________ Hard work beats talent, when talent doesn't work hard. Register! \| Rules/FAQ \| Contact Mod

02-25-2009, 06:49 AM	#2
kerapetse Junior Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: South Africa Posts: 24	So u say u greet each other,u can start with a simple compliment like"Nice shirt",thats for staters for 1 day,then 2 days after u can take advanatage of the weather if its too or too hot or raining.U can say to him after greeting him if there's a chance u will walk together for a couple of minutes or in the lift"this sun is too hot today hey" or"i never thought it would rain like this" just to start a good conversation that wont need any explaination or deeper info.Then if he responds,u can take it from there & talk about different things.But i'll warn u about the bunch girls,they might be after him too so just play your cards wisely.U dont need another girl telling that u are after the same man she is.Good luck girl

02-25-2009, 01:58 PM	#4
kms Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Indiana Posts: 258	I'm not a guy but things that have worked for me are talking about things like the weather, something about his clothes (plus that shows that you're paying attention to him), something going on around you, plans for the weekend (this is always can potentially open doors), whatever else you know about him - like if you know where he works and what kind of work he does, say something related to that... always be confident, have a smile, and maintain meaningful eye contact. Also don't feel too bad about the bevy of girls - clearly what they're doing isn't working because they're still chasing him! By not joining in with them you're setting yourself apart as different, and making yourself hard to get. Give him a little bit here and there, let him get intrigued and then maybe he'll start chasing you. Guys like challenges and conquering and winning.

03-12-2009, 01:28 AM	#8
Whatwhatwhat Junior Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 8	<<<< So I read last night something interesting. Studies have found that if a woman makes eye contact a number of times and smiles >>>> If he has a clue he will respond. Some guys are clueless though, for them I recommend smiling more. It's the new millennium, make yourself approachable. - Carry an interesting prop. - Wear something fashionable that is interesting. - Say something interesting. Ask an interesting question. Ask an opinion on an topic you find interesting. - Say hello. Say "You know every time I see you you have a warm smile and an enthusiastic grin for me, it's nice." (after he says hello) - and SMILE MORE <<<< I just don't know how to approach the subject of getting together outside of his work place. >>>> He should ask you to coffee or something. If he doesn't take the hint say "well I was just on my way to getting a cup of coffee...." And don't be a "sourpuss" :P

03-12-2009, 01:58 AM	#9
Hopeless Dork Silver Contributor 100+ Posts Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: United States Posts: 1,238	[QUOTE=sourpuss;79719]So I read last night something interesting. Studies have found that if a woman makes eye contact a number of times and smiles, in a really high percentage of cases, the man will eventually approach. It's not even the attractiveness of the woman that matters. It's the amount of eye contact. QUOTE] Interesting that you mention that, I wonder if that works on us females too. As I recall when I met my boyfriend, I immediatly thought he was hot and though I never flirted and neither did he, we would just have normal conversations, at first I didn't think he was interested in me because he didnt ask me out or act overtly flirty and I am way too shy to be flirty around a guy I am attracted to. The only thing that made me feel he was attracted to me was the way he looked into my eyes when he spoke, it would make my heart beat so fast It gave me confidence and comfort in talking to him more until he did end up asking me out. So I would definitely try that out, I think it lets people know that you are tuned into what they are saying, and that tears down some walls right away, it did for me. __________________ ------------- Defintion of Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." - Albert Einstein

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