ThexMrs

Hmm,

After my date last night I am semi thinking that I shouldn't be dating right now. Men/Women aside. I feel like a horrible person for what I did but I can't take it back and I honestly probably wouldn't have done it any other way.

This is what happened:

My date was late so I was sitting there having a drink. Another guy approached me and started chatting me up. He was very handsome. His smile could have brought me to my knees. He said he was leaving but that if I was going to be around for a while that he would come back. (I knew my date would be showing up but I wasn't wanting to be there anyways) So I told him that I would be here and I'd love to see him when he got back.

Two hours later I'm on my date and he comes back. I was so excited because my date was going horrible and I didn't think he was going to come back. I invited him to sit at my date and my table. Awkward? Sure... I didn't want to be alone with this guy though.

We all hung out and then the new guy asked me to play pool so I did. I had a ton of fun with him while my date tried to stay by my side and claim me but it wasn't working. At one point he put his hand on my back and it made me cringe.

To make a long story short... I asked my date to go play some music and as he walked away from the table the new guy turned to me and asked me, "Do you want to take me home with you?" I started laughing and I just looked at him and then he flashed that deathly gorgeous smile but I said, "No, you can take me home though." He agreed.

I waited a little while longer and then I told my date that I didn't feel well and that this guy was going to take me home. He was shocked and upset but I mean... Dude wants to be a Wiccan and I'm sorry but that is a turn off not to mention that we had nothing in common. So I left with the other guy.

We exchanged numbers and that was that. I really wanted to take him home with me which is something I have never done but... Mother Nature didn't want that. Freaking PMS! He was so good looking and we clicked so well.

Anyways, I do think that I need to lay off of the men though. I really think that drinking and men have become my coping mechanism/vice lately. I've never been a drinker but since the 11th of this month almost everyday I have been drunk/sick from being drunk/or hungover. It's not healthy. My ex even called me today and told me that I can't keep drowning myself in alcohol. He's right... I can't.

But what do I do?

When I'm in my right mind, I'm depressed.
When I'm drunk, I act like a happy .

It's a catch 22.

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ThexMrs

I always forget that I can't say certain words.

I was referring to myself as a happy girl who takes money for sex but without actually taking money for sex because I'm not having sex right now. You know the word. Starts with a W and ends with an hore. I hope I don't get edited.

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CHANDLERS WISH

I need to smack you, i think.... That word does not belong to you, and so what, over a period of 1 week, you've been silly and drinking to be happy, (at least your a happy drunk) but it doesn't make you an alcoholic, rather something that is helping you through at this point in time.

Woman, get your butt out with your girlfriends, and don't date and don't feel sorry for yourself because everyone has relationships that end, everyone and one person from that is devistated and didn't want it to end.

But, guess what?

They end up finding someone else, even better... and are actually happier.

So, take those words of self destruction and spit them down the toilet.

Don't put yourself in a situation where your at home alone every night of the week, drinking to feel better, then sleeping it off only to start it up again.

Your a strong person, and if I didn't believe that I wouldn't write what I am writing, encouraging words?

No.... words of WISDOM.....

I'm older than you.

So there.

CW

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CHANDLERS WISH

This thread got lost today, and didn't show so bringing it up.

CW

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ThexMrs

No, no... I think I've been abusing myself enough lately. I don't need anyone else abusing me.



Yes, I've been drinking to make myself happy or to forget. Maybe it's the same thing. I don't think that I am an alcoholic by any means. I just believe that this has become my vice. And it's been a little over a week, not to be technical but to show that I am drinking a lot. I'm a miserable soul.

As for girlfriends... I have zero. All of my friends are men. Women have always been very catty towards me so we don't get along. As for all of my male friends, most are either exes or men who are interested in me but I have not been interested in them so they've wound up in the "friends" catergory.

Oh and I've not been at home alone drinking. I've been out with friends or on dates with men I'm not even interested in just to be out. It's really rather pathetic.

I'm not eating. I'm drinking. I'm throwing up. I'm crying. I'm a mess. I actually threw up in bed last night. It was disgusting.

And I talked to my ex today. I didn't want to but I asked him if he was seeing the woman he cheated on me with. He said that he wouldn't call it seeing her but they have gone out a few times. It cut me deep but... He needs to move on just like I do. I try not to think about it but I have off and on today.

I even thought about going out tonight.

What's wrong with me?

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CHANDLERS WISH

Aweee sweet... NOTHING... is wrong with you, wasn't this relationship a tad long distant? Not in your neighbourhood so to speak? Help me out here, i am sorry that's the thoughts i have?

Drinking to forget is normal love...

Don't stress, it's not long term rather a need for now.

But drinking in excess where you spew on your bed Ouch..... don't go that far ok.

Men friends are ok, but those that wanted to sleep with you prob better to stay away from them for now love.

Thinking of you...

CW

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Little

Wow ... how would you feel if a man brought another woman to your table during a date and proceeded to spend all his time with HER and his attention on HER? You'd probably be posting here upset because that is about as rude as it gets.
It shouldn't matter that you aren't having a good time with him. Politely tell him that you'd like to end the date because you aren't feeling comfortable. WAIT for him to leave and then go get your new man.
I'm going through a breakup still too, doing some things that perhaps aren't the smartest ever, and certainly alcohol is included. But being drunk doesn't mean that you can treat others cruelly. You can still treat others with respect.
On another note, what does it mean that he wants to be Wiccan? He either is or he isn't. Judging someone by their religion is a rather rude thing to do as well.
Pull yourself together enough to remember this: What goes around comes around; it's called karma. You're treating these men like dirt, and why? They don't deserve it. You can obviously sit at the bar and pick up a man that you're interested in for the evening. You don't have to drag around one you're not. Treating others respectfully will get you good treatment down the line, and that's what you really want and need.

acerousme

Hey honey.
First off, I MUST agree with Little...being a wiccan is nothing bad. They follow a more natural, holistic way of living.
with that being said, Im going to tell you something my birthmother once told me

"There are the men you DO, and the men you take home to meet daddy". So let us think about this. Is this guy you ditched your date for someone WORTHWHILE?

But...there is NOTHING wrong with you. Break-ups suck!! Everyone on here will agree with the above statement. Bottom line being that I think you should slow down with the drinking. It will not make the problems smaller...the anger and pain will just build up, until one day..you will kersplode!!

WE are all here for ya, and you KNOW that if you ever need to talk...just say the word, and your phone shall ring. xxx

WildChild

Little makes very good points. Break ups are tough but adversity can highlight the areas we need to work on and help us grow. Resorting to drinking, rude behavior and such ultimately serve to lower your own opinion of yourself. It is true, what you do eventually comes back to you, maybe not in the same form, but often multiplied. Do you want that?

Get out and do something for someone else. Offer to take a neighbor who doesn't drive to the grocery, help out at the food bank, join neighborhood watch, smile at people. Get your focus off of you. You'll feel better.

The Moody Blues wrote albums that were meant to listened to as a whole. There is one that has a spoken segment, essentially poetry, talking about a man who comes to understand that when he felt pain, anger or fear, it was because he was not understanding. And when he looked at his enemies with undertanding he saw they were like himself and he learned compassion. Looking with the eye of compassion, he learned love and then he was answered. Starting working on understanding and learning compassion, of yourself and others.

To be a balanced person and find peace in yourself, you need to learn to get along with women. You are one. Start working on creating some female freindships. Consider that what you dislike in other women is probably something you do too. I'd take a guess you'll be happier if you do this. While you're at it take a look at what Wiccans believe and live. A true Wiccan man is a treasure who honors the feminine and the earth. We could do with more of them!

ThexMrs

CW:

Yes, this relationship was long distance.
A year of long distance.
I loved him so much.
It's so tough.

LITTLE:

Quote:

how would you feel if a man brought another woman to your table during a date and proceeded to spend all his time with HER and his attention on HER? You'd probably be posting here upset because that is about as rude as it gets.

That would never happen to me.
But... I said it was rude myself.

Quote:

Judging someone by their religion is a rather rude thing to do as well.

I didn't judge him by that. I told him that if that was what he was interested in then good for him for believing in something. I said, , "I'm sorry but that is a turn off not to mention that we had nothing in common." We had NOTHING in common. Besides that, he was for the dark side.

Quote:

You're treating these men like dirt, and why?

One man... Not men and I said I was a horrible person for doing it.

ACE:

Quote:

Is this guy you ditched your date for someone WORTHWHILE?

No, he wasn't worthwhile as in bringing him home. He was a good time that I DIDN'T have for stated reasons. He was good company though.

WC:

Quote:

To be a balanced person and find peace in yourself, you need to learn to get along with women. You are one. Start working on creating some female freindships. Consider that what you dislike in other women is probably something you do too.

I get along with women just fine. They don't get along with me. They always think I am after the boyfriends because I get along with men so well. They always treat me bad. Like a couple of weeks ago: I was at a party with friends and my buddy came in with his girlfriend. I loved this girl. I thought she liked me too until her boyfriend came over to me and gave me a long tight hug and said he loved me. After that she wouldn't give me the time of day. On another occasion... A girl I considered my best friend (for a girl) stole my money at the bar and then got into an accident, hitting my brother's truck and lying saying it didn't happen and telling everyone that I lied about it happening. EVERYONE in the house heard it. I was in the car! Why would I lie? The only women that seem to accept me are online and that's pretty sad.

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